For CMCers Struggling in the "Real World"

Real world? What is this “real world"? You mean the TV show I watch in the awkward time between dinner and TNC? As CMCers, we are possibly the least reputable sources on answering the question, “What’s it like to finally be living out there on your own?” When we tell others that CMC gives us two free snacks a day and a variety of semi-gourmet dining options, they must imagine a community college with a five-star hotel.  Why, yes, it is just like the Suite Life of Zach and Cody.

Coming home or taking off to internships across the U.S. is a strange experience for most of us. We remember that it’s not OK to mix our own margaritas on any piece of grass that reminds us of Green Beach. We also remember that we can’t just walk into a sushi restaurant, yell, spill everything, and sing Sweet Caroline at the top of our lungs.

While this is a harsh reality, we have to accept that after graduation, the “real world” is all that we have. So here are five ways to take a little piece of CMC with you, everywhere you go:

1. Go For a Dip Pick a fountain, any fountain, and shamelessly jump in. Enjoy the sun, wave to groups of people walking by and envision them as campus tours. Say, “Life is really hard.” Laugh, rinse, repeat.

2. Recreate the At-Home Dining Experience Instead of cleaning your plates and storing them where they belong, leave them all outside your door. Convince yourself that you’ll be eating on them again soon, and you’ll just rinse them off in the bathroom sink then. Yum, smells just like Benson.

3. Attend the Ath Get a bunch of your friends together, dress in your best attire, and go to a fancy political fundraiser at a local restaurant. Demand the microphone and ask an obscure question about how their policy proposal will affect the PIGS.  Don’t forget that plates on top of tea cups universally mean, “Bring me hot chocolate.”

4. Reconstruct the Motley Visit your local coffee shop. Volunteer to spruce things up a bit, but don’t forget to hit the stores beforehand. Place your newly purchased Diva Cups and ladies hygienic materials throughout the store, paint some empowering phrases on the wall, and make sure they have plenty of “day old” pastries. Once you hijack the radio system and put The Shins’ full discography on repeat, you’re done.

5. Bond with Your Local Law Enforcement When you run into a man in uniform, give him a high five and offer him some of your drink. Experiences with our good ole CampSec have made it clear that cops love that stuff.

The countless days of paper-pushing or office work this summer may have your Stag-thena spirit feeling stifled, but remember that, with a creative touch, things can always be a little more like your home away from home.