STUDENT MAKES COPY IN POPPA, RECOVERING AT POMONA VALLEY HOSPITAL

On Friday morning, April 1, a student at Claremont McKenna College printed two copies of his Gov 20 reading at Poppa Computer Lab and was suddenly attacked by the on-duty Student Lab Manager and other Information Technology Services (ITS) personnel. As the student approached the Poppa Main printer to pick up his Xerox-ed Federalist papers, he was quickly surrounded by CMC computing personnel and asked to drop his copy or face extreme consequences.  The student, still holding the copied readings and most likely in a state of hysteria, laughed and did not comply with the given orders.  He was immediately disarmed and restrained in a Malsedian headlock.

The student was taken to Pomona Valley Hospital Medical Center after slight injury to his neck and copy-gripping hand.  Doctors say he is recovering well and will be released within a half hour of his admission to the hospital.

After the attack, Poppa lab was a flurry of activity and nervous students.  One student commented that she was “shocked” and “ashamed” to have witnessed a fellow CMCer violate policy with such ease.  A Student Lab Manager, wishing anonymity, commented that the attack was “the best course of action for such a serious policy violation.”  An ITS manager was outraged by the student’s decision.  “He could have endangered the entire student body and paper supply,” he said.  “Next time, he’ll use his own printer.”

Claremont McKenna College has a strict “no copies” rule, which applies to all on-campus computer labs.  Any student wishing to make a copy must pay for the service at the Claremont Colleges Copy Center, located in Honnold-Mudd Library.  Copying from printer paper costs 10 cents a page, while the much more nuanced task of copying from a book costs 20 cents a page.

To discourage any rogue copying, ITS has posted warnings in numerous areas.  The student, despite the “NO COPIES!!!” warning on his desktop, on the useful flat-screen computer lab monitors, and on notices papering the ceiling and walls, violated the policy and now faces immediate expulsion.  ITS hopes to use his status as an EEP major to maintain the trial in their favor.

The Dean of Students Office refused to comment on ongoing Judiciary Board proceedings regarding the copy criminal.