An Ode to Douchebags

The most recent Dear A Mitch concerning the seemingly disproportionate level of douchebags at CMC ultimately begs the question: just what is a douchebag? Are there different kinds? Am I a douchebag? Tonight's 8:27 is devoted to understanding the Man Behind the Douche.

  1. Tool solidarity--Are d-bags just a misunderstood demographic? They seem to think so. Maybe we need to stop judging and start listening, people. (warning: make sure to listen extra hard, they may be difficult to hear over the Andre Nickatina and slurred chants of "take off your top.")
  2. Garfunkel and Oates-- What's that smell? Axe Body Spray and Desperation? According to this comedy group/band, your party has most likely taken a turn for the douche. It may look like a another lame video of two girls rapping on a couch, but listen to the lyrics and you'll find hilarious one-liners and a fairly accurate summary of  S.D.O.P. (Standard Douchebag Operating Procedure).
  3. Brohemian Rhapsody-- You have probably seen this classic College Humor remake by now, but if not, then enjoy peons. This is probably more along the lines of the CMC- type douchebag than the previous submissions, as we tend towards Bro's and Chiefs rather than collar popping Tools and Ed Hardy addicts. Freddie Mercury would be proud. (I admit, that's a stretch.)