Best Reasons Why You Skipped Class

October 28, 2008

Claremont McKenna: 

1. Became too intoxicated with knowledge after an invigorating night discussing pressing Middle Eastern political issues at Tuesday Night Beruit Club.

2. Stayed up too late campaigning... Samuel Adams for President! Wait... he's been dead for two centuries? Well hmph, that puts a damper in my plans. Still, never has something so dead for so long tasted soooo good. Is there a little Samuel in you?

3. I don't remember where I was or what happened.Thank God my dad keeps an alibi on his payroll...

Pomona:

1. I'm too good to go to class, obviously.

2. I tried, but I could absolutely not pull myself away from the mirror....

3. Stayed up all night studying to take the SATs again...I know I'm already in college, but if I study really, really, (shoot, what is a synonym for 'really'? Um...VERY! Very? Crap, I need to study more) hard I can get an extra ten points on the reading comprehension section!

Pitzer:

1. Wait..wha? Is that someone at the door? I thought I heard....no, maybe not. Maybe its the...oh...wha? I have no idea what's going on...

2. Class? Please, I had fountains to destroy.

3. I'm pretty sure I know enough about growing plants to skip my agricultural biology class.

Harvey Mudd:

1. I couldn't go to class because I had my other 8 classes today.

2. Too busy making pipe bombs and welding chairs to the side of the dorm.

3. I was occupied with planning out the next Mudd-Scripps only dance. This time, THIS time, I'll totally going to precisely model a derivative and lie tangent to some curves. Only remember to set the x-coordinates for protection (ie asymptotes, duh!) so that 1+1 does not equal 3. I'm so excited, I wrote an equation!

at least that's what I hear...

Scripps:

1. Still too traumatized by the man who exposed himself last month to go to class. Can't leave the room can't leave the room can't leave the room...

2. Are you kidding? Do you even know how many calories are in class?!

3. Oh, what?! I could have sworn that class today was going to be held at CMC so I spent half of the day looking for class in every single CMC boy's room...I didn't ever find class, but don't let that fool you. I definitely got some educational experience.

Happy Tuesday, Claremont.