I’m being haunted by the hookup from hell. At the beginning of last year I hooked up with a guy I thought I liked. Turns out he totally “New York’d” me. Now there’s a rumor going around that I got an STI from him. The truth is I never slept with him and I don’t have an STI, although he did give me a lesson in how guys can’t think with both heads at the same time. How do I stop this rumor?

Pattie Cake,

Sometimes rumors are blessings in disguise. Take, for example, Harvey Mudd students. Most had a bad rumor made up about them in middle school that completely debilitated their social life and propelled them to eat Fritos and root beer for lunch in the science lab. That sounds pretty lame until ten years from now when they perfect nuclear fusion on earth and are forever known as those Frito-eating geniuses. If I were you I would grab that STI and run like the wind. You’re getting into Harvard Grad.

If you really can’t stand having guys avoid you like the Home section at Collins, there are a couple of things you can do. If you want it to be easy, just scan your STI test results and make copies for the gossip hounds. Hand it to them and say, “I actually don’t have [insert slandered STI].” Granted, they’ll have your blood counts and hormone levels to Photoshop, possibly turning you into an AIDS-infected hermaphrodite on paper.

You don’t like either of these suggestions, do you? Me neither. So maybe just talk to him. You’re furious right? No doubt, but I don’t think screaming insults will help. Find him alone and calmly tell him how much his lies hurt you. I know I sound like your mom in grade school when she was like, “Well tell Sarah it hurts your feelings when she calls you stupid.” And you said, “I know,” but in your head you were like there is no fucking way I am saying that. Well, you’re older now, and often genuinely informing someone how damaging their words are is far more powerful than yelling, cussing, and creating rumors about how their penis competes with your index finger in length. You don’t want to turn this into a game of tennis against a brick wall, or, rather relevantly, refuting anything Charles Johnson has to say.

Realistically, there is something to be said for the strength of a person who has the self-esteem to let a rumor run its course. You know the truth and hopefully your friends do too – why let him cut you even deeper by dwelling on this falsity?

A Mitch

Dear A Mitch,

Why are the guys at CMC douchebags?

Miss Descriptive,

In the same way Pomona boys are all pretentious, Mudders all hopelessly nerdy, and Scrippsies all scissoring humanitarians, CMC guys are just dicks. Please clump us together as a huge whale douche (the ocean?). Look, there are plenty of d bags at the 5C’s, and if we did a 5C statistical survey, I wouldn’t be surprised if CMC guys ranked first in douchebaggery. I do sometimes wonder as well – you aren’t the first person to have reoccurring issues with CMCers. If I am going to hypothesize as to why so many people think Stag=douchebag, I would need to organize my thoughts. Numbers will help. And then transition sentences are not necessary. Timesavas!

1. About thirty percent of CMC  students are athletes.  This means there’s a bevy of bros who not only have a stunning physique, but have likely been popular studs for most of their lives; they are the yeast in baking success with women (in high school at least). Athletes are not inherently douches by any means – they are simply more susceptible to the status. It is easier to disregard the feelings of another when there’s always going to be someone giving a shit about how damn good you look in crimson and gold.

2. Claremont McKenna teeters on the title of liberal arts college. This is a school popular for economics, business, and finance. We have more econ majors than Jay-Z has problems, okay, actually way more. Now this might be a leap, but I imagine the kid who wants to go to school for four years and have a $60,000± investment firm salary when they graduate is the type that prefers immediate gratification. Which translates to: Gettin’ mine tonight. Or, my deeper thoughts concerning how my actions might affect people are subordinate to my drive to be successful. But then you meet Moose Halpern and everything I just said sounds outlandish.

3. Where you are meeting these guys? TNC right? T – Thursday N – Night C – CLUB. Rasmussen’s latest poll shows that clubs are for womanizers. And menizers. Especially party clubs, where a large proportion of individuals are willing to play smoochikins at the end of the night. Are you getting my drift? If you are looking for someone who you can really connect with, maybe try developing friendships outside of the party scene. If you were to walk by the basketball suite on a Saturday night, you would probably hate all of us. But have a midday chat with Seth Winterroth and you might fall in love. Drunken debauchery is misrepresentative of who people are, and while it does define a small facet of a person, the larger fraction is more visible during Sunday’s coffee conversations, Tuesday night’s psych seminar, and green beach bathing in November.

So don’t stereotype us like I have in this response. You only know what you experience –alter the environment in which your judgments occur.

A Mitch

Got a question of your own for A Mitch?  Submit it anonymously and maybe you’ll be lucky enough to be on the receiving end of A Mitch’s wise words.

In a statement outlining the reasoning behind the change, the Motley managers defend the change, calling it an alignment with its semester goals and mission statement by “promoting environmental and socially conscious business practices.” Although the to-go cups are biodegradable, less than 5% of Motley cups are properly disposed of in composting bins. If the cups aren’t composted, they sit in landfills just like any other disposable product.

All profits generated by the to-go cup policy will go directly to the Motley sponsorship program, which gives “funding for individuals and groups to pursue their own projects.” Those that cannot afford to buy a mug of their own can apply for a small grant through the sponsorship program.

Ultimately, the Motley hopes that the extra charge will encourage customers to bring their own mugs or stay and enjoy their drinks at the coffeehouse. The plan may backfire, as not all students want to linger at the Motley or carry and wash their own coffee containers. Instead, a sizable portion of Motley customers stop by for a quick and convenient caffeine fix between classes or before heading to the library. These students may not be willing to pay the extra fee or bring their own cups, especially with the proximity of Peet’s Coffee at Pomona, Starbucks, and the newly opened café in Honnold Mudd. Service can already be slow at the Motley, and the new policy may further discourage patronage from rushed students.

The Motley will be hosting a public forum to discuss the change and receive feedback. You can also email motley@scrippscollege.edu with questions and comments.

At first, the inconvenience was limited to water faucets that barely dispense water at the Athenaeum, Collins, or Claremont Hall. Equipped with motion sensors or touchpads,  these faucets do not dispense enough water to wash their hands for the medically approved 15-20 seconds. This was an annoyance during the school year, but with the much publicized H1N1 virus, it is a public health threat. (I doubt the lost productivity of sickness of students and faculty was factored into the cost-savings.) Unfortunately, this is just one of the many ways in which “sustainability” ruins life on campus.

Contrary to what many of its supporters — among whom I include some members of the Board of Trustees — claim, I find little evidence that its version of sustainability actually saves costs. The most egregious instance of this occurred last year. In the name of sustainability, the school spent between $3100-$3900 each on four solar-powered trash cans. Was this a sustainable purchase? Now that the trashcans have been put in the shade, as if to add insult to injury, they can’t even power their own operation. (Humorously, a representative of Big Belly Solar informs me that the photovoltaic cells used to compact cans will be be a “revenue” stream – which means that it would take 70,000 cans to pay for just one machine, at $3500. I hope we don’t drink that much.)

Along those lines, do the many empty parking spots that remain unused in our parking lots serve our community as well as allowing some freshmen, somewhere to have access to their own vehicles? But Dean Huang, in an email to me, admitted that part of the reason freshmen were banned from having cars on campus was “environmental” and to wait until the college’s master plan was released. Now that it has been, we see that the stated mission of “sustainability” may even harm the environment. In a school with limited funds, why build parking lots that you aren’t going to operate at capacity?

Last Friday night at around 3 AM, I counted twenty empty spots in the South quad lot. Why didn’t the college try to strike some kind of deal with Scripps College, which has a mostly vacant parking lot just a block from our campus? Surely Scrippsies benefit from the parties we throw and would benefit from the money that freshman CMCers would-be drivers would provide. Scripps endowment fell between a quarter and a third last year. Are we really to believe that they wouldn’t sell parking spots?  Even worse, these allegedly “sustainable” policies have unintended and harmful consequences. By curtailing freshmen driving, the colleges make drinking that much more attractive. You don’t need to be an econ. major to understand that the college has changed the price of a night on the town. Instead of driving into LA with fellow freshmen for a night on the town, it’s much easier to buy some booze from a willing upperclassmen and wind up making some poor decisions.

Decisions — there’s that word again. Part of being out on your own and away from your parents is newfound freedom and responsibility. For the most part, you can choose what classes to take, when to eat, whom to sleep with, what clubs to join, and who you want to be. In fact, the college seems to promote more libertine policies — multiple days for free sexual disease testings, free condoms, and a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy on alcohol. But part of those choices is whether or not you want to live a supposedly sustainable lifestyle. You’re supposed to be able to choose. From compelling students to install poorly illuminating light bulbs that make it difficult to read and do homework to now monitoring what its students eat, however, the college is overstepping its bounds.

Because a few students have wasted food, the Claremont colleges have decided that we are not responsible enough to decide what to eat. But if the colleges were really insistent that Claremont students waste food, why not allow them to self-police, as other colleges have done? The school could even set targets for the students to reduce their waste, if it were so inclined. Instead, they have undemocratically decided that Claremont students — among whom are some of the smartest students in America — must be treated as animals, incapable of choosing the portions and amount of their own food. As children we learn what to put into our bodies, but as college students, we apparently have lost that most elementary of lessons. While the college used to sell itself on the conversations students had over dinner and on the lessons they learned from each other in the dining room, one wonders how wise a policy it is that makes community that much less enjoyable. Never you mind the fact that eating disorders are apparently a real problem from young women — or so, at least, we are told at freshman orientation.

Worse yet, now that the college has done away with trays, it has simply makes life harder for the already overworked dining hall staff, whose pay has been frozen and whose hours have been artificially elongated by the extra cleaning they must do. The food that once fell onto trays now falls on the floor, on the table, and on chairs and must be washed. According to some of the dining hall women I interviewed at three of the dining halls, they spend an average additional 30 minutes each day cleaning the floors.

Pitzer and Claremont McKenna College have now offered a “reusable” container. The Claremont Portside and the Forum reported that the containers will be purchased by our Dean of Students, Dean Huang, for an untold sum of money. Now it appears as if Collins will be providing these containers gratis to each student on a meal plan. But this raises more questions than it answers: If the school — or Collins– is going to go to the effort of buying a whole bunch of takeout containers, why can’t they spare $1.75 for each student to have their own tray, weigh the remaining food refuse, and then charge the students who waste the food more? Remember, the supposedly environmentally friendly containers at the other colleges cost between $3 and $6. This cast doubts on the supposed savings that trayless dining is supposed to bring. Anyone who has worked as a dishwasher knows that it is a lot easier to wash a flat tray than a weirdly shaped takeout container. So not only will the college have to pay the initial costs of purchasing these containers, the perpetual costs of their cleaning will have to be sustained as well. How sustainable.

But “sustainability” was never really about the environment, after all. It’s about signaling. Gann signals to the Board of Trustees that she’s reducing costs and to the campus what values she thinks we ought to be promoting.

And the rest of the campus signals its apathy by going on its merry way.

Newly selected President Bettison-Varga couldn’t be reached for this article, but rumors are circulating that she’s planning a blowout dance party in the Scripps parking lot to ring in the new anthem.

Well actually, not really, but sometimes I wonder.(1) Personally, I’ve had enough. Enough of the ideology that lets girls plaster “You count. Calories don’t.” all over their walls one moment and then lets them play this childish game of hide the crouton. I’m tired of seeing fliers for “Wellness Seminars” next to girls with protruding collarbones. I’m disgusted at the pathetic show of friendship that Scripps girls show when they insist their friends are strong women whatever the reality. Mostly I’m disheartened because I fear that genuine acts of courage like Zoe Larkins’ will be lost in this sea of bullshit.

Isn’t there something seriously wrong with the culture of Scripps? It’s as if the college specializes in deterritorialization: universal concepts are everywhere stripped from their meaning and become free-floating injunctions. And I’m not the only one who sees this:

“What I find most difficult about Scripps women is their willingness to speak out on how terrible eating disorders are, how we should all appreciate our own bodies, how we should grant ourselves permission to enjoy food because we deserve to nourish our bodies—and yet these same women engage in disordered eating and constant exercising.” –Alicia Jenkins (in response to a post on the Voice)

Wellness blurs into disordered eating seamlessly. Extolling the virtues of a healthy lifestyle and then having a carrot for dinner has no contradiction because that pronouncement had no ontological meaning. The declaration existed purely in the symbolic – a perfect breeding ground for this kind of hyperideology. Its principles – therapeutic wellness, female empowerment, etc. – are so structured, so crystalline that the actual meanings underlying them apparently are irrelevant.

Consider the core of Scripps’ ideology: Feminism. I always thought the underlying point of Feminism specifically (and the civil rights moment generally) was that you are supposed to judge people on “the content of their character, not [arbitrary things like] the color of their skin.” Yet all too often at Scripps that ideal encapsulated in words like “Feminism” or “Freedom” is disconnected from its actual meaning and made to serve as a blunt reaction. If Scripps’ “Feminists” were really as committed to Feminism as it should be defined, they would be just as outraged at the discrepancy between the percentages of men and women going to higher education as they are about the wage gap.

In a sense, I think I can see where they’re coming from. You look at humanity’s recent history, and it’s dominated by white males. That history includes some pretty fucked up things, including the forced domestication of women. I imagine it’s easy to be consumed by the scope of that history and the magnitude of that blatant injustice. So consumed that you feel the need to fight it with everything you’ve got. That understandability, though, doesn’t make it ok.

Far from it. Besides being simply wrong, the idea that only white males are racist is totalitarian. You’ve set up strict intellectual limits around something that delineates it completely. What’s racism? It’s the pejorative actions that white males take against other races. Oh, ok. I had no idea it was that simple. Neat-o. Similarly it’s totalitarian to try to force all discourse through the lens of gender. Our world is actually too complicated for that. Though I suppose, to be fair, if they’re feeling intellectually expansive, Scrippsies will include race and other historically underprivileged groups as means to valuable insight.

Perversely, this shuttered way of thinking can come full circle and be detrimental to women’s rights. Take the following quote from the Scripps’ Voice for example:

“Many expressed a disparity between the empowerment they are supposed to feel at a women’s college, and the strong image consciousness they observe on campus. This might reflect, some students suggested, a lack of basic feminist education. Why, someone suggested, didn’t we study feminist theory in Core I?” (2)

I don’t get how any self-respecting woman doesn’t feel insulted by this statement. Are women supposed to feel less empowered when they’re not at a women’s college? Do they need the company of other women to feel that they have authority and power? Or is it just that the girls that go to a women’s college are somehow weaker, need empowering? Note too the immediate turn to Feminism. Maybe that’s actually what’s needed in this case, but I can’t help but be cynical. As empowered, strong women, might the students of Scripps College need education in something other than their gender to combat this pernicious image consciousness?2 Like maybe the superego: stop fucking caring about what other people think.

There’s an eerily similarity between this Scripps’ ideology and Tyra Banks on her show America’s Next Top Model [excerpted from a post on More Intelligent Life, an Economist publication]:

“And this is where the paradox of Tyra comes to a head. She hugs and gives rehearsed counsel to the eliminated contestant, encouraging her to still follow her dreams. But to emphasize inner strength in a game where success hinges on ten pounds or a bad photo is dishonest. Tyra has a chilling ability to shuffle among masks without acknowledging their incoherence, which is an eerie quality for a self-styled self-empowerment guru to have, since it obscures any idea of a “self” to begin with. But it is also, in a nutshell, the only learned skill that a model must possess.”

Can’t you picture Scrippsies doing the same song and dance, telling their friends to eat and be healthy, while simultaneously judging their every nutritional move in the cold war of calorie attrition? This weird ideology has claimed enough casualties. So I say enough of this mental Valium that they call wellness talks, enough of this femino-centric worldview, and enough of this cycle of bullshit generally. Scrippsies – like all budding young adults – need an education in how to live as responsible, productive, and fulfilled people, pure and simple. Feminism and wellness and all that other jazz they love up there can be a part of that, but just that: a part. Life demands and the Scripps young women deserve much more than this lame culture of broken ideals.

——————————————————————————————
(1) In the interest of full disclosure, I must confess: I read the Scripps Voice. I know, I know. But how else would I find gems like this? “It is always the time to question our policies, but now we need to do so with the expectation that the decided solution will succeed.” I mean it takes something really special to be that confident with that level of internal contradiction. Personally, I think every writer for the Scripps Voice secretly aspires to be a host on the View. But I digress.
(2) Because aren’t they supposed to be treated as members of humanity – not simply as an elaboration of a sociophysical construct like gender?

#16 Best Campus Food (+1)
#7 Best Career Services (-5)
#11 Dorms Like Palaces (no change)
#3 Happiest Students (+1)
#15 Lots of Race/Class Interaction (+3)
#11 Most Popular Study Abroad Program (not ranked last year)
#10 Most Politically Active Students (+1)
#13 Professors Get High Marks (not ranked last year)
#10 Most Accessible Professors (+1)
#3 School Runs Like Butter (+2)
#13 Great Financial Aid (-3)
#1 Easiest Campus to Get Around (not ranked last year)
#3 Best Quality of Life (+2)

And lastly, the ranking that CMC Public Affairs left off in their annual self-congratulatory mass e-mail…
Lots of Beer #5 (+8)

You can bet your Icehouse keg that President Gann is getting angry phone calls from alumni and parents about that one.  It’s not surprising that Public Affairs left it out in the e-mail, but it is strange that the e-mail is from “Public Affairs Office,” as if someone (Richard Rodner?) doesn’t want to stand behind it.

Anyway, expect to see some backlash against ASCMC in the form of increased security at parties, RA narc-ing, and difficulty when registering kegs.  In addition, Dean of Students will get some heat, and Trustee committee meetings will dwell on the issue for far too long.  Last year I wrote a post on the topic of beer at CMC, but it goes without saying that this ranking is based on widely-held misconceptions about CMC parties.  (On a side note, Preston Waserman ‘11 thinks we can do better: “I really think with the right attitude we can get to top three,” Waserman said in his most recent Twitter.)

As for the rankings as a whole, they seem to indicate that not only did we drink more, but we admitted three or four more minorities and international students, got rejected from lots of jobs, fired a housing coordinator, and had slightly better weather.  Not a bad year.

Overall, I would say that Princeton Review does a good job of ranking the Claremont Colleges within the Claremont Colleges.  Yes, CMCers might drink more than Pitzer and the other 5Cs, but we’re pretty comparable to Pomona and pale in comparison to most state schools.  And yes, Pitzer has lot more “Birkenstock-Wearing, Tree-Hugging, Clove-Smoking Vegetarians” who happen to smoke pot than the other 5Cs.  But I wouldn’t say Harvey Mudd is truly among the least beautiful campuses in the country or that CMC’s beer consumption per capita is anywhere close to that of some Ivy League schools.

Here’s how the other 5Cs fared:

Scripps:
#4 Dorms Like Palaces
#4 Most Beautiful Campus
#19 Easiest Campus to Get Around

Pomona:
#14 Dorms Like Palaces
#7 School Runs Like Butter
#5 Great Financial Aid
#13 Least Religious Students
#1 Best Classroom Experience
#19 Best Quality of Life

Pitzer:
#10 Most Popular Study Abroad Program
#12 Birkenstock-Wearing, Tree-Hugging, Clove-Smoking Vegetarians
#19 Gay Community Accepted
#7 Lots of Race/Class Interaction
#14 Reefer Madness
#11 Least Religious Students
#11 Most Liberal Students

Harvey Mudd:
#7 Least Beautiful Campus
#17 Intercollegiate Sports Unpopular or Nonexistent
#15 Professors Get High Marks
#12 Most Accessible Professors
#18 Students Study the Most

While I personally think that trays make eating in the dining halls more convenient, Scripps has adopted a fairly user-friendly trayless system.  There is now silverware in each room near the drink dispensers.  This means students don’t have to try and balance a plate of food, a drink, and silverware when trying to find a seat.  The Scripps dining hall seems particularly well suited for going trayless because the drink dispensers are dispersed between the eating rooms.  This layout has always required students to put their food down on a table and then go get beverages.  Grabbing silverware while getting drinks is not too difficult.  If a dining hall like Collins or Frary went trayless, it would be much less convenient. Students would either have to make an additional trip back to the serving area to get drinks or find a way to master balancing drinks, plates and silverware all at once.

The second change was the demise of the Mudd brunch smoothie blenders.  According to signs at Mudd dining hall, students broke the blenders by using them improperly.  The blenders will be gone for the rest of the year.

Recipe of the Week: Jillian’s Snack Sandwich

This week’s recipe comes courtesy of Jillian Raftery ‘12.

1.       Obtain 2 slices of bread (Buttermilk or Sweet Hawaiian) and toast them.

2.       Lightly butter each slice of bread.

3.        Spread crunchy peanut butter on one slice of bread.

4.       Thinly slice some green apple and cover the half with peanut butter with the slices (you should use less than half of the apple)

5.       Drizzle honey over the apple

6.       (Optional) Sprinkle some cinnamon sugar over the honey before you make it a sandwich.

7.       Place the other slice of bread on top to make it a sandwich

8.       Enjoy.

The end result is rich and creamy. Not only does the sandwich take advantage of the inherent apple-peanut butter synergy, but, as Jillian describes, “The peanut butter mixes with the butter to make it creamy and the honey sets it off so it isn’t too dry.”  This recipe can be replicated at Collins at lunch, dinner or snack.

And now, a look at the menus for the week.

Monday:

Start your week off right with a Grilled Three Cheese & Apple Sandwich from the Scripps Grille.  Scripps will also serve Beef Fajitas at the Expo, Buffalo Chicken Pizza at the Pizza Station and Roasted Chicken, Mashed Potatoes & Gravy, as well as Baked Herb Crusted Cod in the home-style line.

If Scripps’s menu doesn’t whet your appetite, try Mudd’s Muddgolian BBQ or Pitzer’s Mongolian Stir Fry.

Tuesday:

Frary seems to have a headlock on Tuesday night.  Its Taco Tuesday blows everything else out of the water week after week.

Last Tuesday I highlighted Collins’s Prawn Crepes as one of the most creative dining hall dishes I have heard of.  I tried them and must report that they were actually good.  They were served with a peanut sauce, prawn, noodles and carrot.  If Collins offers them again, I recommend giving them a try.  This week, you can head to Collins for Philly Cheese Steak Sandwiches, Shrimp Egg Rolls, and Crepes of an unknown flavor.

Wednesday:

For as long as I have been writing this column, Collins and Frary have combated each other for the title of “Best Japanese Cuisine on a Wednesday Night.”  This terrible conflict shall enter the annals of history to take its place among the other irreconcilable conflicts of our time like chocolate vs. vanilla, pulp vs. no pulp, crunchy vs. smooth and Pirates vs. Ninjas.   One can only hope that these two gastronomical gladiators agree to schedule their signature Japanese nights on different days of the week for next semester.  Until then, 5C students will be faced, weekly, with the existential choice: Chicken Teryaki or Sushi? When faced with such a weighty decision, the opinion of a Forum pundit means little.  Follow your heart, be yourself and pick whichever one you want.

Thursday:

After facing a soul-searching choice between Japanese cuisines on Wednesday, 5C students must decide between competing wraps on Thursday.  Indeed, there is no rest for the weary.  Scripps will serve a Turkey Bacon Club Wrap, as well as an Italian Melt and Chicken Ranch Bacon Pizza.  Collins on the other hand, will serve a South West Chicken Wrap, as well as Taste of Europe- Gnocchi and Chili Dogs.  While the Scripps wrap is better than the Collins wrap, I am a sucker for Gnocchi (Gnocchi is made of pasta dumplings filled with potato.  It is delicious).

Friday:

If Frary has a headlock on Tuesday nights, then Mudd has tamed, domesticated and now feeds Friday nights with delicious scraps from its table.  Individual Pizzas Made to Order, a Carne Asada Taco Bar, Clam Chowder, and a Wing Bar are just too good to miss.

Saturday:

There must be some sort of tacit oligopoly formed between the dining halls regarding weekend menus.  Scripps is still the best choice on Saturday with Grilled Steaks and Cheese Tortellini.  Scripps is only challenged by Mudd and its sushi night.

Sunday:

Mudd will serve Individual Steaks Cooked to Order, but Collins has been improving its Sunday offerings and will serve Buffalo Chicken Sandwiches and a Teriyaki Chicken Stir Fry if you don’t want to deal with the lines at Mudd.

That is all for this week. Thank you for reading!

Dessert is often the most enjoyable part of a dining hall meal.  Dining halls seek to satisfy students’ sweet teeth by offering a plethora of dessert options.  Almost every dining hall provides students with ice cream (both hard and soft serve), cookies and various other puddings or pastries.  While you might be tempted to merely choose one of the desserts prepared for you, ignoring these low-hanging fruit and creating your own dessert is the mark of a true epicurean.  By breaking through the false (and dining hall abetted) categorization of some foods as “dessert” foods and others as “non-dessert” foods you can simultaneously combat food stereotyping and liberate your taste buds.

The 22^nd Choice

1.       Obtain a bowl or to-go cup

2.       Find peanut butter from the appropriate dining hall area (crunchy or smooth)

3.       Use a knife to spread liberal amounts of peanut butter onto the outside of your bowl/cup.  It doesn’t have to be evenly spread.

4.       Get frozen yogurt from the machine (Vanilla works well)

5.       Add desired topping(s) (eg: chocolate chips, crumbled oreo, butterfinger bits)

6.       Mix thoroughly

This recipe has been traveling around campus (and the CMS track team) by word of mouth.  It is amazing.  The finished product tastes almost exactly like something you could order from 21 choices.  Of course, the dining hall version has the benefit of being virtually free.   The key breakthrough here is mixing peanut butter (not usually considered a dessert food) with frozen yogurt (a traditional dessert food).  The ingredients for this recipe can be found in every dining hall.  The only variation would be in the flavor of frozen yogurt available.

And now, onto the menus for the week:

Monday

Collins almost never gets the nod for Monday night, but this week it seems bent on changing that fact.  Collins is offering a Seafood Chowder Bread Bowl at the Options station, a Turkey Club at the Expo, and their weekly Gyros at the Grill.  Collins seems to be revisiting Mardi Gras with a Cajun themed Sausage Gumbo.

Alternatively, Scripps is serving a Turkey Bacon Melt at the Grille and has Chorizo & Cheese Quesadillas at the Expo.

Tuesday

Tuesday is a no-brainer.  None of the dining hall menus can compete with Frary’s Burrito Night.  Go order a huge tortilla full of scrumptious Mexican food.

Wednesday

Frary earns repeat honors this Wednesday with its Japanese Night.  The first time I went to Frary’s Japanese Night it was only so-so, but I gave it a second chance and their  Chicken Teryaki was amazing (by dining hall standards, of course).  The ability to get multiple items in a single order also allows you to sample a variety of tastes.  If you have been to Collins sushi night for the last few weeks, I recommend changing up your routine and heading to Frary.

While Frary is good, Collins sushi still reigns supreme.  Frary’s Japanese Night allows you to sample multiple items, but Frary sushi is no match for Collins sushi.

Thursday

Every station is pulling its own weight this Thursday at Scripps.  The Grill is offering Chorizo & Cheese Quesadillas for those of you who missed it on Monday.  The Exhibition is running a Baked Potato Bar. Finally, the regular line is serving Beef Lasagna to satisfy your inner Garfield.

If none of the above dishes appeal to you, try Collins.  There you will find a Chinese Mandarin Salad at the Options station, Lemon Pepper Shrimp Linguini at the Expo and Sloppy Joes at the Grill.

Friday

While last week I endorsed the Collins Za-tar Hummus Bar, this Friday is all about Mudd. Mudd really does Friday dinners right.  Order an Individual Pizza and then take the edge off your appetite with a tender Carne Asada Taco while you wait.

Saturday

It seems like Scripps has more baked potatoes than it knows what to do with.  In addition to its traditional Steak Cooked to Order, Scripps is offering another Baked Potato Bar at the Exhibition station as well as Baked Sweet Potatoes in the normal line.

Sunday

Sunday features steak at Mudd, Pitzer, and Frary.  Mudd cooks steaks to order while Frary is serving flank steak and Pitzer offers delicious macaroni and cheese.

That’s all for this week.  Thank you for reading!

Do-It-Yourself Kiwi Berri

5C frozen yogurt enthusiasts regularly voyage to the village for Kiwi Berri frozen yogurt topped with fruit and delicious mochi.  Truly enlightened connoisseurs might disdain Kiwi Berri in favor of cefiore.  While these chains do craft scrumptious confections, frequenting them on a regular basis can get expensive.  Rather than shell out several dollars for someone to put fruit on top of your frozen yogurt, why not do it yourself for free at the dining hall?  Here are the steps:

1. Obtain a bowl or cup of frozen yogurt.  Vanilla tends to work best, but sometimes you have to make do with what’s available.
2. Obtain a small plate of fresh fruit at the salad bar.  Grapes, strawberries and pineapple are particularly tasty, but cantaloupe and watermelon could do in a pinch.
3. Cut the fruit into small bits.
4. Sprinkle fruit over your frozen yogurt.
5. Enjoy.

This recipe would work very well at Collins because they always have vanilla and chocolate frozen yogurt.  Odd flavors like the ones at Scripps might clash with the fruit.  Collins also consistently offers watermelon, pineapple, and even strawberries at brunch, all of which go well with frozen yogurt.  Frary has grapes at Sunday brunch which also go well with this recipe.

And now for the weekly menu round-up:

Monday

Head up to Scripps on Monday for Beef Fajitas or mosey on down to Frary for Individual Pizzas.

Tuesday

Stay on CMC’s campus Tuesday night because Collins is offering Philly Chease Steak Sandwiches, Banana, Chocolate and Banana Crepes, French Onion Soup, and a Beef Nacho Bar.

If Collins isn’t your style, try Scripps.  Tuesday night they are serving a Turkey Club Wrap at the Exhibition, Crispy Oven Fried Chicken at the regular line and Beef Gyros at the grill station.

Wednesday

It is still sushi night this Wednesday at Collins and you should still go.  Frary does a Japanese night as well, but it’s only preferable to Collins if you have a hankering for mall food court style Teryaki Chicken.

If you don’t like sushi or Teryaki Chicken, Mudd has Carved Flank Steak, a Gourmet Burger Bar, Calzones and French Onion Soup.

Thursday

Thursday night Scripps offers the best menu on the 5C’s with it’s Bread Bowl “Souper” Day, a Nacho Bar at the Exhibition, and Chili Dogs at the Grille.

Friday

The weekend menus don’t change very much around the 5Cs.  Mudd still reigns supreme on Friday with Individual Pizza’s Made to Order, Carne Asada Tacos and Clam Chowder.

You can also get sushi at Scripps.

Saturday

Scripps steak is the highlight of Saturday dining hall menus.  As always beware of the crowds.

Sunday

Mudd’s Steak Cooked to Order rivals Scripps steak, but Mudd dining hall is laid out to facilitate even longer lines.  Get there early, because long lines persist until the dining hall runs out of steak.

As an alternative, try Pitzer which also has a steak night, but not cooked to order.

Just as a reminder, Dining halls are closed over Spring Break, so you’ll have to make alternative dining arrangements.  The Hub will be open for lunch during the weekdays over Spring Break, but not for dinner.

That’s all for this week, thank you for reading!

A campus encircled by classic California architecture and hemmed in verdant gardens, Scripps College’s sumptuous appearance entices visitors and students alike. Burgeoning with ripe grapefruits and oranges for the picking, a brand new field house and dorms that provide students with “fully-stocked kitchens” (although some dispute the validity of this claim, most at least have a fridge and an oven), Scripps seems to bustle with hidden perks.  Arguably the most attractive of the 5C’s, the college rises from its well-watered grounds as a melodic garden of white stucco, latticed windows, and green doors—Scripps Green doors. Yet, like every college campus, like every establishment frequented by the clever and the curious, it too guards its own unique set of secrets. From charming initiation ceremonies to quiet nooks and secret flower beds, Scripps coaxes adventurous students to leave the safety and comfort of their dorms to pursue the luxuries that set apart the 5C’s only women’s college.

Perhaps the most decadent of the school’s services, Scripps Tea—hosted every Wednesday from 4:00-4:30 in Seal Court—treats students from all 5 colleges to a delicious snack, a study break, an a little culture. Cakes, cookies, tarts, scones, veggie trays and hot beverages make this event a weekly favorite for many. Yet Tea is often more than a simple excuse to work on the Freshman 15; most are sponsored by an on-campus organization, using the gathering’s popularity to ignite interest in a plethora of clubs or activities. A personal favorite from 2008 was the Mariachi band’s serenade of Tea goers as onlookers enjoyed hot chocolate and delectable pastries.

Of course, if one drops by Seal Court for Tea or simply a frolic in its resplendent beauty, the Motley is a must-see. An all student run business, the Motley keeps Scrippsies and most 5C-ers going with its unyielding and generous supply of caffeine. The vegan cookies are an especial favorite, catering to all food-lovers, regardless of their dietary restrictions. As an all-woman run operation, the Motley exemplifies Scripps’ intrinsic promise to social consciousness, as it sells products produced by environmentally friendly companies and hosts meetings, forums and discussion boards that aim to raise campus-wide awareness for the issues that face the college.  Besides its obvious importance as the campus’s coffee haven, the Motley also serves as a preferred study-spot and a place for students and professors to mix and mingle. Many find its relaxing music, comfy velvet couches and friendly staff—an ideal compromise between the distractions of the dorm room and the eerie silence of the library—as the cure for procrastination.            

Yet the college is not simply a culinary paradise for sleep-deprived and bedraggled students; Scripps plays host to a number of cloistered gardens and subtle luxuries that set it apart from the other campuses. Every dorm is outfitted with a private Browsing Room where students can escape the raucous of dorm life for a quiet, secluded study session. Likewise, common rooms are graced by pianos for students’ enjoyment—playing used to be required by the school—a stipulation that has since been repealed, although many still take advantage of the instruments’ availability. Denison library remains a little-known resource of the college, providing the secluded peace of a library with stain-glass windows, chandeliers and secret study rooms on its ground floors. It also plays host the school’s Rare Books Collection–an enviable asset that contains first editions and original letters, although only available by appointment. The landmark also plays host to a small patio canopied by blossoming vines, yet it is hardly Scripps’ only hidden garden; Apparently Browning conceals one that some Scripps students admit they’ve never found.  Malott too has a “secret garden” pointing towards Honnold-Mudd library where students can bask in mild weather while enjoying a meal—just remember to return your cutlery to the tray drop-off!

Apart from the obvious beauty of the Margret Fowler rose garden (and the various other sequestered plots), Scripps maintains endearing traditions that build community and break up the melancholy hours of studying. Perhaps the most charming, Candlelight Dinners are special occasions for students to share an elegant meal while marking a holiday—Halloween is particularly popular.