“I’m about to teach your ass how to cook.” With those words, Coolio, of Gangster’s Paradise fame, began the first episode cooking show. Yes, he has a cooking show–you can find every episode on his YouTube channel, Cookin with Coolio. Coolio hasn’t had the best luck lately, what with his arrest for possession of crack cocaine or with his recent crowd surfing attempt (where, rather than catching him, audience members let him hit the floor and then stole his jewelry and shoes). On first glance, however, his luck seems to be changing with this new, critically acclaimed show.

Cookin with Coolio features videos that will guide you on your quest to make “Soul Rolls,” “Swashbuckling Shrimp,” and the like. Unlike traditional cooking personalities, however,  Coolio uses less than official cooking terms, such as “a dime bag of pepper” and a “pooch of salt,” as well as random interjections of “Shakazulu!” and “Taste Good, Look Good…IS GOOD.” He is joined in every episode by his cooking “girls.” He also swears quite a bit, so you may want to keep down the volume if grandma is around.

In this episode he kidnaps a college student and shows him how to make “Fork Steak.” Yum.

Check out Coolio’s “Flavor Gun” that he gets in the episode in which he makes “Fall off the Bone Chicken”:

Oh yeah, you can buy his cookbook, “Cookin With Coolio, 5 Star Meals at a 1 Star Price,” which is probably one of the funniest cookbooks I’ve ever read.

Shakazulu!

Kris Brown in his natural environment.

Kris Brown is up to his elbows in chocolate. Surrounding him are bowls full of it, liquid chocolate, solid chocolate, chocolate covered utensils, chocolate covered everything.  At the center of it all stands the Seattlite, smiling, reveling in the environment, and only slightly less covered than the items within his grasp.

Brown is making truffles, melting down gourmet chocolate he buys in bulk and creating ganache from scratch.  It’s a weekly ritual, usually taking place on Sunday afternoon, with the CMC junior making a batch of nearly 150 truffles.  He sells these truffles through the Motley coffeehouse on the Scripps College campus.  Brown works as an independent contractor, splitting the proceeds with the Motley.  The results are both delicious and successful, with the small chocolates selling out at a dollar a piece in only a few days.  With finals week in full swing, the demand has gone up significantly, and Brown plans to make an extra-large batch to help fuel late-night study sessions.

“The most recent batch sold out in about 10 hours at the Motley,” says Brown.  ”People have always told me I should increase prices on these things, and seeing how fast they sell out it’s definitely ‘commercially viable.’  But the money isn’t a driving factor for me.  I want to provide good food without a high cost associated with it; I want to expand people’s horizons with what they expect out of a piece of chocolate.”

The flavors are perhaps the most notable part of the truffles, as a different trio of ganaches appears each week.  Certain flavors are given creative names, such as the “Peaches” truffle, a vanilla, cherry, and almond combination bearing the nickname of CMS’s All-American hammer thrower Taylor Berliant.  Says Brown: “If someone inspires the flavor of the truffle, I name it after that person.  They usually get free chocolate, too.”

Despite the truffles’ popularity, few know that they come from a CMC student, although they might not be surprised to hear it’s one with such a strong resume in the culinary arts.  Brown is the manager of  The Shakedown, Pitzer’s student-run restaurant and over the summer he interned as a prep cook at Seattle’s renowned restaurant Tilth.  For the fall semester, Brown moved off campus, allowing him to improve his cooking with a full kitchen.  Besides his culinary duties, Brown finds time to run cross country, competing for the Stags  during their successful fall run.

Sadly though, the supply of truffles is in jeopardy for the spring semester.  Brown will be abroad in Nepal, cultivating his palate for exotic spices, and therefore unable to contribute.  As of now, the duties will be falling to Harvey Mudd freshmen Kate Crawford, who will continue the tradition in the spring.  Nevertheless, this week is your last chance to try Brown’s special recipe, which he bills as “sentimental chocolate.”  The final batch will go on sale in the Motley sometime Sunday evening.  Best to be there early, they’re sure to go fast.

All this is true, you say? Why do I need to write it again you say? Is it because I have a posting quota you say? No!

The Hub just got EVEN BETTER!

Remember how you could use meal replacements at the Hub to get one arbitrarily chosen (and possibly nachos) option a day?  Ya, it was a little dumb that subs were free one day and six dollars the next.  But no more!  Now every day features seven choices:

1. Any sub and a soda
2. Any burger, fries, and a soda (bacon is extra)
3. Chicken tenders and a soda
4. Cheese quesadilla and a soda
5. Chicken quesadilla and a soda
6. Caesar salad and a soda
7. Panini or wrap or salad of the day

Plus you can swap your soda for a coffee-like drink!

My editor thinks this article would have more pizazz if I ended it on a witty note.  I think that if I squeezed one more drop of pizazz into it, the article would burst in your face like an overfull water-balloon.  Luckily for you I decided not to risk it.  The reader comes first!

One of the most amazing aspects to Mix Bowl’s glory is its delivery service.  With free delivery and only a $10 minimum charge, its pretty much a no brainer, some would say win-win-win.  Open until 2 am every day of the week (YES 7 DAYS A WEEK), there is rarely a time when hunger strikes and Mix Bowl cannot come to the rescue.

Now, to be fair, there are some nay-sayers out there who like to claim ridiculous things like, “I waited 2 hours and they never showed up,” or “I ate the green curry chicken and spent all of the next day in the bathroom” or even my favorite, “its too greasey/oily/somethingwhiney.”  To all of you friendly critics I say this: reach deep down inside your soul and cast aside that longing for stale mundane Domino’s pizza and open up your heart to culinary love.  Mix Bowl is not just a plate of nourishment, but it is really a token of care, love, and happiness all condensed into a $5.95 package.  Furthermore, we all know that Collins can border on boring, so go out on a limb, and taste the beauty that inspired Collins “world wok” section, taste something that can’t be found anywhere else in Claremont, taste something that truly makes a lasting impression.

Speaking of big impact, most people will say that they have tried Mix Bowl’s delightful fare, but few will attest to the ambiance found at the Café itself.  Located only a short jaunt from campus, Mix Bowl’s store front is a stimulating blend of neon lights and fish tanks.  Tastefully decorated in the neon light motif of the early 2000’s and sporting an array of local Thai newspapers, it’s no wonder that I’ve seen a member of the local police force every time I’ve had the pleasure of dining in their establishment.  To put it another way, my knees would quiver in sheer excitement and awe if my date took me on a special night out to Mix Bowl Café.

The title of this article, Mix Bowl Café: Hot or Not?, calls for a declaration, and if my biased bantering has not made it painfully clear already, I’m going with: HOT.  MIX BOWL CAFÉ = HOT.  So friends and foes, the next time you wander back to your room with that special someone, look away from that tempting The Notebook DVD and instead break out your handy (and neon) Mix Bowl menu and delight that fine collegiate with your “Heaven Noodle” (#45).

#16 Best Campus Food (+1)
#7 Best Career Services (-5)
#11 Dorms Like Palaces (no change)
#3 Happiest Students (+1)
#15 Lots of Race/Class Interaction (+3)
#11 Most Popular Study Abroad Program (not ranked last year)
#10 Most Politically Active Students (+1)
#13 Professors Get High Marks (not ranked last year)
#10 Most Accessible Professors (+1)
#3 School Runs Like Butter (+2)
#13 Great Financial Aid (-3)
#1 Easiest Campus to Get Around (not ranked last year)
#3 Best Quality of Life (+2)

And lastly, the ranking that CMC Public Affairs left off in their annual self-congratulatory mass e-mail…
Lots of Beer #5 (+8)

You can bet your Icehouse keg that President Gann is getting angry phone calls from alumni and parents about that one.  It’s not surprising that Public Affairs left it out in the e-mail, but it is strange that the e-mail is from “Public Affairs Office,” as if someone (Richard Rodner?) doesn’t want to stand behind it.

Anyway, expect to see some backlash against ASCMC in the form of increased security at parties, RA narc-ing, and difficulty when registering kegs.  In addition, Dean of Students will get some heat, and Trustee committee meetings will dwell on the issue for far too long.  Last year I wrote a post on the topic of beer at CMC, but it goes without saying that this ranking is based on widely-held misconceptions about CMC parties.  (On a side note, Preston Waserman ‘11 thinks we can do better: “I really think with the right attitude we can get to top three,” Waserman said in his most recent Twitter.)

As for the rankings as a whole, they seem to indicate that not only did we drink more, but we admitted three or four more minorities and international students, got rejected from lots of jobs, fired a housing coordinator, and had slightly better weather.  Not a bad year.

Overall, I would say that Princeton Review does a good job of ranking the Claremont Colleges within the Claremont Colleges.  Yes, CMCers might drink more than Pitzer and the other 5Cs, but we’re pretty comparable to Pomona and pale in comparison to most state schools.  And yes, Pitzer has lot more “Birkenstock-Wearing, Tree-Hugging, Clove-Smoking Vegetarians” who happen to smoke pot than the other 5Cs.  But I wouldn’t say Harvey Mudd is truly among the least beautiful campuses in the country or that CMC’s beer consumption per capita is anywhere close to that of some Ivy League schools.

Here’s how the other 5Cs fared:

Scripps:
#4 Dorms Like Palaces
#4 Most Beautiful Campus
#19 Easiest Campus to Get Around

Pomona:
#14 Dorms Like Palaces
#7 School Runs Like Butter
#5 Great Financial Aid
#13 Least Religious Students
#1 Best Classroom Experience
#19 Best Quality of Life

Pitzer:
#10 Most Popular Study Abroad Program
#12 Birkenstock-Wearing, Tree-Hugging, Clove-Smoking Vegetarians
#19 Gay Community Accepted
#7 Lots of Race/Class Interaction
#14 Reefer Madness
#11 Least Religious Students
#11 Most Liberal Students

Harvey Mudd:
#7 Least Beautiful Campus
#17 Intercollegiate Sports Unpopular or Nonexistent
#15 Professors Get High Marks
#12 Most Accessible Professors
#18 Students Study the Most

But before I continue with my allegations, let me put forth a few examples that illustrate my opinion. The following are actual experiences from my own visits to The Hub:

Exhibit A:
11:30pm on a Friday night:

Drunk Girl: Hey, can I get some chicken fingers?
Shady Hub Employee: Nah, how about one of these sandwiches by the register?
Drunk Girl: Mmm. I really want chicken fingers.
Shady Hub Employee: We’re all out. Have a sandwich.
Drunk Girl: Um…looks at kid walking away with chicken fingers … I guess that’s ok.
Shady Hub Employee: Takes girls card, that will be 16.05.
Drunk Girl: …Hmmm… trying to compute that doesn’t sound right…
Shady Hub Employee: Next!
___________

Exhibit B:
8:25pm on a Wednesday evening:

Me: Hi, I’d like to get a meal replacement.
Shady Hub Employee: Sorry, that ended at 8:30.
Me: Well, it’s 8:25, so this is perfect.
Shady Hub Employee: No, it’s not.
Me: Um… the clock on the cash register and the one above your head say 8:26… and my phone says 8:26.
Shady Hub Employee: Uh… The clocks are fast. We’re not doing no more replacements. walks into back room
Me: thinks about “the clocks are fast” …Um …ok…
___________

Exhibit C:
Some weeknight, during listed Hub hours.

The Hub gate is closed but the lights are on. The Hub Employees are playing pool. They say they will open up again in about fifteen minutes.
___________

Now I’d like to juxtapose the Hub’s business practices with those of The Coop and The Mudd Hole. Sure, I don’t think anyone would say the workers at The Coop are exactly zealous in their work ethic — in fact, I have to admit I’m pretty sure I’ve seen cashiers stoned to the point of being incapable of speech. But still, the workers at The Coop have never been rude to me. They’ve never blatantly lied to me. So maybe they are occasionally debilitatingly high, no biggie. Some would say that makes them a bit more empathetic to their often inebriated customers.

I like the idea of the Hub being student run but I don’t think it’s a necessity. The Mudd Hole is obviously not run by students yet I’ve never been anything less than delighted with my sandwiches there. The guy who works at the cashier, although protective of his pool table, at least never bullies me.

It’s too bad I can’t say the same at our own campus eatery. I appreciate CMC having its own place to eat and I do like the meal replacement (whether or not a meal swipe is really worth a hot dog and a coke is another discussion) but it frustrates me that The Hub doesn’t make the extra effort to improve customer service.

The ability to grab a burger at 12:30pm, only feet from North Quad, is in principle, incredible, but in practice, unnecessarily sleazy. Must our campus grill resemble a dilapidated church basement? Must its employees act as if they’re slinging mini-donuts behind the “Barf-a-Whirl?”

I’d like to hear what others feel about our local restaurant. Have others had similar experiences?

Recipe: Reformist Salad

Most people approach the salad bar with good and healthy intentions.  Campus diners heap hearty helpings of spinach and spring greens mix onto their plates, thereby satisfying ingrained maternal commands to eat green leafy vegetables.  Unfortunately, as we progress farther and farther down the salad bar, our salads become less and less healthy.  Spinach disappears under cheese, eggs, and Ranch or Thousand Island dressing.  While these extra ingredients won’t kill you, they also tend to detract from the overall healthiness of the salad.  The Campus Epicurean set out to solve this problem and came up with this:

Step 1: Obtain a plate and pile some mixed greens or spinach onto it.

Step 2: Add canned and fresh fruit, for instance: fresh cantaloupe and canned peaches or pears.

Step 3: Add craisins and walnuts.

Step 4: Use yogurt as your salad dressing.  Flavored yogurt tastes best, but plain yogurt will also work.

Step 5: Toss and enjoy.

This recipe may seem a little wacky, but keep an open mind and you will find it quite tasty.  Following this recipe conveniently combines helpings of fruit and vegetables into one dish.  This recipe was devised at Frary and works well with the salad bar there.  Diners at other dining halls may have varying results.

Now on to this week’s menus:

Monday

Head to Frary this Monday for Individual Pizza’s and, while you’re there, try the salad recipe above.  If you do go to Frary, consider getting desert.  Frary has been featuring very good ice cream choices for the past week.

Tuesday

On Tuesday stay at CMC and patronize our very own Collins dining hall.  Collins is offering Philly Cheese Steaks and Banana, Chocolate and Strawberry Crepes. As an added bonus Collins also has French Onion Soup. Last time they served this soup they had cheese and croutons to go with it.  While you will most certainly find better French Onion Soup in a decent restaurant, Collins version is very good for a dining hall.

Wednesday

This Wednesday, in addition to serving the best sushi on the 5-C’s, Collins is also serving Quesadilla’s, the perennial grill favorite.  So even if you are allergic to seafood, there’s good reason to eat at Collins on Wednesday.

Mudd also has a good lineup this Wednesday featuring Philly Steak Loafer Sandwiches, a Gourmet Burger Bar, French Onion Soup, and its normal Muddgolian BBQ. Mozzarella cheese and croutons are available at the Mudd salad bar for the French Onion Soup.

Thursday

This Thursday is the day to head up to the lovely land of Scripps College.  The weather is warming up, the fruit trees are beginning to bloom and Scripps dining hall has its Bread Bowl “Souper” Day with Thai Shrimp & Coconut Soup and Herbed Carrot Soup. If you’re not in a soupy mood, try the Italian Melt or Turkey Bacon Club Wrap.

Friday

Friday is Mudd’s day to shine.  Finish the grueling ten minute walk up to Mudd and enjoy Individual Pizzas Made to Order, a Wing Bar, a Carne Asada Taco Bar, and Clam Chowder.

Saturday

Scripps draws the crowds on Saturday for good reason.  This Saturday it features Grilled Steaks and, if you don’t want to wait in the line for steak, Cheese Tortellini at the Exhibition.

If you hate crowds, check out Frary on Saturday.  Frary is usually offering some sort of alternative steak, often a flank steak or beef shortribs.

Sunday

Every week all the dining halls shut down to watch Pitzer and Mudd compete for your ID card swipe.  While you can’t find a decent meal at 3 out of the 5-C’s on Sunday, Mudd offers Steaks cooked to order.  Pitzer does not cook steaks to order, but does have much shorter lines.  Incidentally, according to the word on the street, many Mudders flee the lines of CMCers at Mudd and eat at Pitzer on Sundays.

That’s all for this week.  Thank you for reading!

Village Dining Feature: Le Pain Quotidien

Rejoice, ye of good taste. Fine European food has come to Claremont. Le Pain Quotidien (French for “The Daily Bread”) offers village goers great Old World breakfast and lunch fare. Nestled right next to the movie theater in the new part of the village, the restaurant uses superb breads as the base for their flavorful entrees. Diners can peruse a menu of breakfast options as well as tartins (French for “open-faced sandwich”). I ordered the Shrimp tartine with avocado, tomato salsa & mango slices while my girlfriend ordered the Avacado tartine with nori seaweed, sesame seeds & scallions. Entrees are delicious and, contrary to normal American customs, on the small side for one person. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a free lunch. Tartines at Le Pain range from $9 to $14. Add on drinks and dessert and lunch for two can get pretty pricey. Lunch for two could cost $30-$50. To save your wallet, make a trip to Le Pain a light lunch and stop by the Coop, Hub or Muddhole afterwards to really fill up. Alternatively, take your parents here when they visit and they can pick up the bill. Le Pain Quotidien is a Belgian chain with restaurants worldwide. Check out their menu at: www.lepainquotidien.com

Now on to the menus for this week:

Monday

According to some, in olden times Mongolian warriors would cook food on their shields, creating what we know now enjoy in chain restaurants across the land as Mongolian Barbeque. Pay homage to the Khans and their hordes by making Monday night Mongolian Night. Mudd is offering Muddgolian BBQ as well as a Nacho Bar. Compare and contrast with Pitzer, which is offering Mongolian Grill and its own Nacho Bar.

For the more health conscious, try Scripps where you will find (if their menu does not lie) a Caesar Salad Bar at the expo and a Crispy BLT Chicken Sandwich at the grill.

Tuesday

While the masses often stampede to Frary for Burritos etc. on Tuesday nights, you can blaze your own trail. Pitzer has its own Taco Tuesday and a Sundae Bar. The cooks even make the tortillas right in front of you.

If you don’t like tacos, head up to Scripps where they are serving Cheese Tortellini & Breadsticks and Philly Steak Pizza.

Wednesday

Every week Wednesday night is Sushi Night at Collins. Somehow Collins has figured out a way to serve sushi that resembles the actual thing to students every week. Collins has raised the bar for dining hall sushi and Scripps, Mudd and Frary still insist on serving students subpar sushi.

Thursday

Scripps takes first prize tonight with Red Curry Stir Fry Pork at the expo and a Sky Ranch Chicken Flatbread Sandwich at the grill.

Coming in second we have Mudd offering Muddgolian BBQ, a Pasta Bar and a Burrito Bar, ensuring that everybody can find something to fit their tastes.

Friday

Mudd still reigns supreme Friday night with Individual Pizza’s Made to Order, a Carne Asada Taco Bar, and a Chicken Tender Bar (although in my experience Mudd’s chicken tenders aren’t very good).

Saturday

The weekend means steak night for a lot of dining halls. Scripps has the best steak on campus (although it can vary from week to week). Saturday night is crowded at Scripps, so plan accordingly.

Sunday

Sunday features dueling steak nights at Pitzer and Mudd. Pitzer offers all USDA certified sirloin steak, while Mudd tries to make up for its slightly inferior steak with a nice Sundae Bar. Both places overcook their steaks, much to the dismay of rare meat enthusiasts, but Pitzer’s steak gets the prize for overall quality.

That’s all for this week. Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave any comments, suggestions or dining hall recipes in the comment section.

With that out of the way, tuck in your napkins, it’s on to the food!

Monday

According to the comments from last week, some people do, in fact, love Mondays. Here is one reason you could too: Monday is Make Your Own Pizza night at Frary. Unfortunately, it does draw a crowd so try to get there early or late. Frary stays open until 8pm so you can eat great, even late… just like at Wendy’s.

If Pizza doesn’t do it for you, mosey on over to Collins where there will be Gyros, a Roasted Vegetable Salad and “Deli Night- Corn Beef on a Baggette” (Misspelling is in the menu) While the Cornish bastard child of the French Dip Sandwich might not appeal to you (or it might, who knows), Collins Gyros are generally decent.

Tuesday

Frary is blowing away the competition this week by following up Make Your Own Pizza with Burrito Night! Once again, make sure that you’re not in a rush. Burrito and Quesadilla orders can take time, but that guacamole goodness is usually worth it.

Collins is playing backup once again, offering Philly Cheese Steaks, a Southwest Chicken Wrap and “Crepe Expectations – Pumpkin and Apple”. The crepes get listed last because the apple ones were decidedly mediocre last week.

Wednesday

Wednesday is sushi night at Collins! Be there or miss the most delicious sushi on the 5-Cs.

Thursday

Live dangerously tonight. Tromp up to Scripps and see if there menu bears any relationship to what they are serving. Supposedly, they will offer Chicken, Chipotle & Cheese Quesadillas at the Grille, a Baked Potato Bar at the Exhibition (a great place to get toppings for your homemade Cheese Fries), and last, but not least, Beef Lasagna and Garlic Breadsticks in the regular line.

If Scripps doesn’t appeal to you, try eating a late dinner at the Hub. Wyatt Mackenzie recently extolled its virtues here on the forum. It opens at 7:00pm.

Friday

Hike up to Mudd this Friday for Individual Pizzas Made to Order. Mudd will also have Carne Asada Tacos, which I recommended last week, and “Wings & Things”, which sounds ambiguous, yet appetizing.

Saturday

Elton John says Saturday night’s alright for fighting, but, if you ask me, it’s even better for steak. Beat the crowd up to Scripps to avoid lines that can extend all the way back to the tray return area. Saturday night is Steak Night but there will also be a Baked Potato Bar at the Exhibition.

Sunday

Sunday is the day to choose the dining hall based on the pizza, grilled chicken and salad bar. Few dining halls make any extraordinary effort at all on Sundays, so go to Scripps and make yourself a good sandwich/salad.

Featured Interview:

Instead of a Recipe of the Week this week, we are going to feature the 5-C Cookbook! Here is an interview with Ratna Kanath from Health Education Outreach. Please send any recipe ideas you have to rk002007@mymail.pomona.edu. They could be included in the cookbook.

1. Who is putting the 5-C cookbook together?

Health Education Outreach, a 5-College Resource Center, is working to get a healthy and variety-laden cookbook out to the students so that they can make their own meals in the dining halls when they find the pre-prepared options aren’t to their liking.

2. What inspired the idea? Why make a 5-C cookbook?

In thinking about how difficult it is to navigate the dining halls when dealing with allergies or dietary restrictions (gluten-intolerant, vegan, vegetarian, lactose-intolerant, peanut allergies), and how little is open to these students, we started to talk about how limiting and monotonous dining hall food can get for many students. This drives them to eat greasy, unhealthy things, munch on desserts that are unappetizing, and experience mounting frustration. We decided to create a cookbook so that students can reference what their friends and classmates have done to liven up their meals and bring flavor and healthfulness back to their diets. We’re hoping to get emails and have recipe suggestion boxes at the dining halls in order to get people thinking about what they create at the dining halls when World Wok isn’t available or they can’t eat custom-made pizzas.

3. What will the cookbook look like? How will people access it? Will it be printed, online, or both?

We’re still unclear on this–it’s entirely dependent on the interest this generates. We’re hoping to make the cookbook available at all of the 5-C dining halls, however, and in Health Education Outreach. If there are calls for an online version, we might make that available, too. It’s a little too early to tell at the moment.

4. Can you give an example recipe that might be in the cookbook?

Crunch and Snap Fruit Salad
1 apple
1 orange
1 handful of raisins/cranberries (adjust according to preference)
1 handful of walnuts/pecans
1 lemon wedge

Cut the apple and orange into chunky pieces and roughly chop the walnuts/pecans. Squeeze lemon juice over the mixture and add the raisins/cranberries; then mix it all together and enjoy as a healthy breakfast, snack, or dessert.