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I hate 87% of mainstream rap. Hate it like Scripps hates intolerance. If you don’t hate it, I hate you. I’d literally rather have my wang cut off than sit in traffic listening to “Do the Godamn Stanky Legg.” Are people absolutely retarded? “Ay you better bang yourself cause I can tell that you’re hot. I hope you wind it up, lean back and show your socks.” You always hear underground rap artists making statements about sellout mainstream artists- I don’t even think that’s possible when concerning the G-Spot Boyz. Stanky Legg sounds like someone gave a bunch of ghetto ass Down syndrome kids a pad of paper and an eighth of hash and told them to make the biggest piece of shit possible. Mission accomplished.

Dog Doing the Stanky Leg
The Stanky Legg?

All this started when the industry snuck a prairie dog in the mix- Lil’ Jon and the Eastside Boys came out with crunk music. I’ll admit I listened to it, but only because the Easter Bunny put their CD in my basket. I should have gone to the pet store and killed its family for attempting to lower my intelligence. David Banner and Mike Jones followed, rendering equally terrible music. In 2007 Soldja Boy Tell ‘Em unleashed “Superman Dat Ho.” For those who are unaware, “supermanning a ho,” by Urban Dictionary’s definition, is when a guy jizzes on a girl’s back and attaches a sheet to simulate a cape. Some of you may remember Tyler Lay’s 2007 Halloween costume: A Soulja Boy outfit with a stereo playing 17 tracks of, “Watch me dooooooooo, crank that soulja boy.” People laughed, I did too, and then I died a little bit inside.

T-Lay had it right though, these so called rappers are really just actors that come up with a song catchy enough to sell. I think they are comedians, so bad one can’t but question the seriousness of the artist. Did I say artist? Sorry I meant asshole. “But Alex, they are just trying to make some money, why are you hating.” I’m not hating on the rappers. Well…yeah, I am. However, it wouldn’t matter how preposterous rappers were if there was some sort of filter on what hits the airway. Can there be a panel that says hell no, do dat laffy taffy, are you kidding me? Nonetheless, there is not, and radio stations do what they can to get the most listeners. The thing is, I think they would get just as many listeners if they put on quality rap that has the same poppy type rhythm that attracts people before they even know what a song is about. Want a playlist anyone?

I couldn’t tell you the names of all dudes I hear in other people’s cars. And I’m glad, because if I could, I might have to do a round of radiation to burn out the awfulness I’d been infected with. People at TNC say the only reason they listen to mainstream rap is to dance. Dance your heart away, I’m going to drink Captain Mo until I don’t understand what is coming out of the speakers.

  • Clean on the Outside

    couldn’t agree more. i think a problem is that there isn’t a good rap station in LA. in NYC and some other big cities, there are some decent ones, but LA just doesn’t have any.

  • Clean on the Outside

    couldn’t agree more. i think a problem is that there isn’t a good rap station in LA. in NYC and some other big cities, there are some decent ones, but LA just doesn’t have any.

  • Clean on the Outside

    couldn’t agree more. i think a problem is that there isn’t a good rap station in LA. in NYC and some other big cities, there are some decent ones, but LA just doesn’t have any.

  • leks

    heyo mitch,

    here’s my take on this. i believe all types of music have their place. while I agree that most rap played on the radio right now is shit, it still has its place in some small way…the purpose of music isn’t to only educate and tell stories, looking at the roots of hip-hop, if you go back to the hymns and the call-and-response of the days of slavery and before, it was also just a coping mechanism, something people would use to get through long days. rap today is probably more mainstream than ever before, but can’t you see songs like the stanky leg as just coping mechanisms, not just for african americans but for our society as a whole? what’s wrong with doing a stupid dance with friends every now and then, if you know the song is just fun, and if you aren’t holding its lyrics up there with the greats like andre 3k etc?

    there has to be a time for dance music of every kind. i love trance, but it doesn’t have much lyrical value. I love going back to see my family in ghana and listening to drum circles on the beach, but have no idea what the words mean. I’m in India and am damn near tired of listening to and seeing bollwood music and music videos, but at the same time, I realize that it’s one way for a comparatively reserved society to let loose. you’re being far too analytical with this amitch, music can be FUN too. as long as you mix it up, and don’t listen to the same stuff over and over and over (beau anyone?) then i see nothing wrong with going dumb. just gotta come back to reality every now and then. and have you ever had a legit dance party bumping only immortal technique, brother ali, and atmosphere? yea with the right crowd its great to chill too, but if I’m be the dj of a big group, I’ll put the stanky leg on before any of them, every time.

    love,
    leks

  • leks

    heyo mitch,

    here’s my take on this. i believe all types of music have their place. while I agree that most rap played on the radio right now is shit, it still has its place in some small way…the purpose of music isn’t to only educate and tell stories, looking at the roots of hip-hop, if you go back to the hymns and the call-and-response of the days of slavery and before, it was also just a coping mechanism, something people would use to get through long days. rap today is probably more mainstream than ever before, but can’t you see songs like the stanky leg as just coping mechanisms, not just for african americans but for our society as a whole? what’s wrong with doing a stupid dance with friends every now and then, if you know the song is just fun, and if you aren’t holding its lyrics up there with the greats like andre 3k etc?

    there has to be a time for dance music of every kind. i love trance, but it doesn’t have much lyrical value. I love going back to see my family in ghana and listening to drum circles on the beach, but have no idea what the words mean. I’m in India and am damn near tired of listening to and seeing bollwood music and music videos, but at the same time, I realize that it’s one way for a comparatively reserved society to let loose. you’re being far too analytical with this amitch, music can be FUN too. as long as you mix it up, and don’t listen to the same stuff over and over and over (beau anyone?) then i see nothing wrong with going dumb. just gotta come back to reality every now and then. and have you ever had a legit dance party bumping only immortal technique, brother ali, and atmosphere? yea with the right crowd its great to chill too, but if I’m be the dj of a big group, I’ll put the stanky leg on before any of them, every time.

    love,
    leks

  • leks

    heyo mitch,

    here’s my take on this. i believe all types of music have their place. while I agree that most rap played on the radio right now is shit, it still has its place in some small way…the purpose of music isn’t to only educate and tell stories, looking at the roots of hip-hop, if you go back to the hymns and the call-and-response of the days of slavery and before, it was also just a coping mechanism, something people would use to get through long days. rap today is probably more mainstream than ever before, but can’t you see songs like the stanky leg as just coping mechanisms, not just for african americans but for our society as a whole? what’s wrong with doing a stupid dance with friends every now and then, if you know the song is just fun, and if you aren’t holding its lyrics up there with the greats like andre 3k etc?

    there has to be a time for dance music of every kind. i love trance, but it doesn’t have much lyrical value. I love going back to see my family in ghana and listening to drum circles on the beach, but have no idea what the words mean. I’m in India and am damn near tired of listening to and seeing bollwood music and music videos, but at the same time, I realize that it’s one way for a comparatively reserved society to let loose. you’re being far too analytical with this amitch, music can be FUN too. as long as you mix it up, and don’t listen to the same stuff over and over and over (beau anyone?) then i see nothing wrong with going dumb. just gotta come back to reality every now and then. and have you ever had a legit dance party bumping only immortal technique, brother ali, and atmosphere? yea with the right crowd its great to chill too, but if I’m be the dj of a big group, I’ll put the stanky leg on before any of them, every time.

    love,
    leks

  • Kmac

    Amitch,

    Always a pleasure to read your work.

    I think there are currently two main problems that need to be mentioned
    1) There are many artists out there that take themselves WAY too seriously. I think it’s easy to lose perspective when you are constantly bombarded by fans and money-hungry agents. Many artists have changed dramatically over time. Examples off the top of my head: Michael Jackson…yikes, 50 Cent, Kanye West, DJ Megaladon.
    2) The “Hit” radio companies that play the top 40 charts are only capable of playing the same songs… OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I’ve been shuffling through radio stations and (I kid you not) heard the same song playing one THREE different hit radio stations. AT THE SAME TIME.

    I can see why you’d be frustrated by these two facts alone. I sure am.

    However, I agree with Leks-Lethal in the fact that every music has it’s own value, place, and design. Not all music should have to have “quality” lyrics in order to make it “good music”. Music is a way to express emotion, for both the “artist” and the listener. Am I really gonna try and jam John Mayer before the Stag Basketball game? Hell naw, Ima get my Electric Feel on, or bumpity bump some Infinity 2008. Am I gonna “get jiggy with it” at TNC? Yes. Am I gonna be “going to miami” at my grandmother’s funural? No. Each song, artist, and genre have appropriate times and places to be enjoyed.

    In my opinion, the best thing to do is “share” music that you enjoy with others. It is meant to be enjoyed and appreciated by listeners.

    You may disagree, but in my mind, i’m just spittin’ some Non-Fiction Diction.

    -Kmac

    P.S. I should mention I feel that many artists rely on lyrics that use constant profane and degrading language. Myself included. It’s a crutch that should be avoided.

  • Kmac

    Amitch,

    Always a pleasure to read your work.

    I think there are currently two main problems that need to be mentioned
    1) There are many artists out there that take themselves WAY too seriously. I think it’s easy to lose perspective when you are constantly bombarded by fans and money-hungry agents. Many artists have changed dramatically over time. Examples off the top of my head: Michael Jackson…yikes, 50 Cent, Kanye West, DJ Megaladon.
    2) The “Hit” radio companies that play the top 40 charts are only capable of playing the same songs… OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I’ve been shuffling through radio stations and (I kid you not) heard the same song playing one THREE different hit radio stations. AT THE SAME TIME.

    I can see why you’d be frustrated by these two facts alone. I sure am.

    However, I agree with Leks-Lethal in the fact that every music has it’s own value, place, and design. Not all music should have to have “quality” lyrics in order to make it “good music”. Music is a way to express emotion, for both the “artist” and the listener. Am I really gonna try and jam John Mayer before the Stag Basketball game? Hell naw, Ima get my Electric Feel on, or bumpity bump some Infinity 2008. Am I gonna “get jiggy with it” at TNC? Yes. Am I gonna be “going to miami” at my grandmother’s funural? No. Each song, artist, and genre have appropriate times and places to be enjoyed.

    In my opinion, the best thing to do is “share” music that you enjoy with others. It is meant to be enjoyed and appreciated by listeners.

    You may disagree, but in my mind, i’m just spittin’ some Non-Fiction Diction.

    -Kmac

    P.S. I should mention I feel that many artists rely on lyrics that use constant profane and degrading language. Myself included. It’s a crutch that should be avoided.

  • Kmac

    Amitch,

    Always a pleasure to read your work.

    I think there are currently two main problems that need to be mentioned
    1) There are many artists out there that take themselves WAY too seriously. I think it’s easy to lose perspective when you are constantly bombarded by fans and money-hungry agents. Many artists have changed dramatically over time. Examples off the top of my head: Michael Jackson…yikes, 50 Cent, Kanye West, DJ Megaladon.
    2) The “Hit” radio companies that play the top 40 charts are only capable of playing the same songs… OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I’ve been shuffling through radio stations and (I kid you not) heard the same song playing one THREE different hit radio stations. AT THE SAME TIME.

    I can see why you’d be frustrated by these two facts alone. I sure am.

    However, I agree with Leks-Lethal in the fact that every music has it’s own value, place, and design. Not all music should have to have “quality” lyrics in order to make it “good music”. Music is a way to express emotion, for both the “artist” and the listener. Am I really gonna try and jam John Mayer before the Stag Basketball game? Hell naw, Ima get my Electric Feel on, or bumpity bump some Infinity 2008. Am I gonna “get jiggy with it” at TNC? Yes. Am I gonna be “going to miami” at my grandmother’s funural? No. Each song, artist, and genre have appropriate times and places to be enjoyed.

    In my opinion, the best thing to do is “share” music that you enjoy with others. It is meant to be enjoyed and appreciated by listeners.

    You may disagree, but in my mind, i’m just spittin’ some Non-Fiction Diction.

    -Kmac

    P.S. I should mention I feel that many artists rely on lyrics that use constant profane and degrading language. Myself included. It’s a crutch that should be avoided.

  • Patty Cakes

    Poop!!!!!!

  • Patty Cakes

    Poop!!!!!!

  • Patty Cakes

    Poop!!!!!!

  • Natty B

    So I just came back from abraod and was bombarded with Swagg surfing, getting plenty money, stanky legging, and blaming it all on the alcohol. Needless to say I was slightly confused, derranged, and needing some sort of explination. Look, we all know that the club bangers are shit and don’t add anything to music or the industry besides a couple of kids coming up with more creative ways to talk about their dismounts (please see Katt Williams It’s pimpin pimpin) to a wack ass beat (that somehow gets your toes tappin and you Yuuuuuuuulllllling around your family at the reunion and the wedding reception) and getting paid for it. I don’t disagree with you there but the notion that they’re ghetto down syndrome adolescents is far from the truth. For example Soulja Boi has been able to take low cost produced songs saying whatever comes to his goofy mind and put it on a CD and every lil curly headed Susie and rebellious Tommy eat it up to seem “cool”. We really should be taking business advice from this kid – and you have to respect that although he does discuss supermanning that hoe and ya bitching he does so with a smile and has kids doing a dance and I much prefer watching my 4 year old cousin tapping his heel and his toe and spinning around imitating a super soaker than to here him sing, “Come here b*tch I’m trying to make your ****** wet,” or “Cause you’re my busit baby” or my lil sister singing “I wanna take a ride on your magic stick” or “I kissed a girl and I liked it” or “I’ll get him show him what I got cause he can’t read my poker face” subconciously.

    It may be intellectually paralyzing to watch kids stanky leg or josephine Johnny but I think part of your whole frustration is because YOU dear sir can’t stanky leg and not look stiff, Yuulllee and not look retarded, or two step and heel toe without tripping over yourself. Face it Alex you’re just not cool enough to hang boo and that’s ok – but don’t hate on the kids for creating it, doing it, enjoying it, or making money from it.

    • Natty B

      Obviously I can’t spell… sad forgive the typos

    • Natty B

      Obviously I can’t spell… sad forgive the typos

    • A Mitch

      Listen Natty B,

      Don’t kid yourself, son. I will c walk, stanky legg, harlem shake, and thizz face all over your soft ass… If you think I lack an urban awareness or some kind of flavor, well, we can debate it over freestyle. Shit, if you’d like, I will heel toe while informing you of my history as the only white kid in the Benson basketball program. The stanky legg, sure, has it’s place in society. Listen to it at your barbeque, go crazy. What I am saying is American society is wearing it for allowing songs and artists like this to take charge of the mainstream. Whatever the radio plays people will listen to- the radio puts on nas, people listen and enjoy it. They put on bullshit, the same happens.

      I know rap, good and bad. I don’t reach into other cultures and tell them their music is bad. This is the culture I grew up with, and I am therefore permitted to say this music is terrible.

      And as for these chiefs making money off their songs, good for them. You know people once bought a pet rock because it was marketed right?

    • A Mitch

      Listen Natty B,

      Don’t kid yourself, son. I will c walk, stanky legg, harlem shake, and thizz face all over your soft ass… If you think I lack an urban awareness or some kind of flavor, well, we can debate it over freestyle. Shit, if you’d like, I will heel toe while informing you of my history as the only white kid in the Benson basketball program. The stanky legg, sure, has it’s place in society. Listen to it at your barbeque, go crazy. What I am saying is American society is wearing it for allowing songs and artists like this to take charge of the mainstream. Whatever the radio plays people will listen to- the radio puts on nas, people listen and enjoy it. They put on bullshit, the same happens.

      I know rap, good and bad. I don’t reach into other cultures and tell them their music is bad. This is the culture I grew up with, and I am therefore permitted to say this music is terrible.

      And as for these chiefs making money off their songs, good for them. You know people once bought a pet rock because it was marketed right?

  • Natty B

    So I just came back from abraod and was bombarded with Swagg surfing, getting plenty money, stanky legging, and blaming it all on the alcohol. Needless to say I was slightly confused, derranged, and needing some sort of explination. Look, we all know that the club bangers are shit and don’t add anything to music or the industry besides a couple of kids coming up with more creative ways to talk about their dismounts (please see Katt Williams It’s pimpin pimpin) to a wack ass beat (that somehow gets your toes tappin and you Yuuuuuuuulllllling around your family at the reunion and the wedding reception) and getting paid for it. I don’t disagree with you there but the notion that they’re ghetto down syndrome adolescents is far from the truth. For example Soulja Boi has been able to take low cost produced songs saying whatever comes to his goofy mind and put it on a CD and every lil curly headed Susie and rebellious Tommy eat it up to seem “cool”. We really should be taking business advice from this kid – and you have to respect that although he does discuss supermanning that hoe and ya bitching he does so with a smile and has kids doing a dance and I much prefer watching my 4 year old cousin tapping his heel and his toe and spinning around imitating a super soaker than to here him sing, “Come here b*tch I’m trying to make your ****** wet,” or “Cause you’re my busit baby” or my lil sister singing “I wanna take a ride on your magic stick” or “I kissed a girl and I liked it” or “I’ll get him show him what I got cause he can’t read my poker face” subconciously.

    It may be intellectually paralyzing to watch kids stanky leg or josephine Johnny but I think part of your whole frustration is because YOU dear sir can’t stanky leg and not look stiff, Yuulllee and not look retarded, or two step and heel toe without tripping over yourself. Face it Alex you’re just not cool enough to hang boo and that’s ok – but don’t hate on the kids for creating it, doing it, enjoying it, or making money from it.

  • Natty B

    So I just came back from abraod and was bombarded with Swagg surfing, getting plenty money, stanky legging, and blaming it all on the alcohol. Needless to say I was slightly confused, derranged, and needing some sort of explination. Look, we all know that the club bangers are shit and don’t add anything to music or the industry besides a couple of kids coming up with more creative ways to talk about their dismounts (please see Katt Williams It’s pimpin pimpin) to a wack ass beat (that somehow gets your toes tappin and you Yuuuuuuuulllllling around your family at the reunion and the wedding reception) and getting paid for it. I don’t disagree with you there but the notion that they’re ghetto down syndrome adolescents is far from the truth. For example Soulja Boi has been able to take low cost produced songs saying whatever comes to his goofy mind and put it on a CD and every lil curly headed Susie and rebellious Tommy eat it up to seem “cool”. We really should be taking business advice from this kid – and you have to respect that although he does discuss supermanning that hoe and ya bitching he does so with a smile and has kids doing a dance and I much prefer watching my 4 year old cousin tapping his heel and his toe and spinning around imitating a super soaker than to here him sing, “Come here b*tch I’m trying to make your ****** wet,” or “Cause you’re my busit baby” or my lil sister singing “I wanna take a ride on your magic stick” or “I kissed a girl and I liked it” or “I’ll get him show him what I got cause he can’t read my poker face” subconciously.

    It may be intellectually paralyzing to watch kids stanky leg or josephine Johnny but I think part of your whole frustration is because YOU dear sir can’t stanky leg and not look stiff, Yuulllee and not look retarded, or two step and heel toe without tripping over yourself. Face it Alex you’re just not cool enough to hang boo and that’s ok – but don’t hate on the kids for creating it, doing it, enjoying it, or making money from it.

    • Natty B

      Obviously I can’t spell… sad forgive the typos

    • A Mitch

      Listen Natty B,

      Don’t kid yourself, son. I will c walk, stanky legg, harlem shake, and thizz face all over your soft ass… If you think I lack an urban awareness or some kind of flavor, well, we can debate it over freestyle. Shit, if you’d like, I will heel toe while informing you of my history as the only white kid in the Benson basketball program. The stanky legg, sure, has it’s place in society. Listen to it at your barbeque, go crazy. What I am saying is American society is wearing it for allowing songs and artists like this to take charge of the mainstream. Whatever the radio plays people will listen to- the radio puts on nas, people listen and enjoy it. They put on bullshit, the same happens.

      I know rap, good and bad. I don’t reach into other cultures and tell them their music is bad. This is the culture I grew up with, and I am therefore permitted to say this music is terrible.

      And as for these chiefs making money off their songs, good for them. You know people once bought a pet rock because it was marketed right?

  • Natty B

    Ps. the elderly caucasian male that sits in the office next to my mom came up to her at work last week and asked her if she knew how to do the “sKanky leg” and the “Cupid Shuffle” cause if not he was going to show her. Don’t be mad at the kids and don’t be mad at the baby boomer tryin to get his groove back.

  • Natty B

    Ps. the elderly caucasian male that sits in the office next to my mom came up to her at work last week and asked her if she knew how to do the “sKanky leg” and the “Cupid Shuffle” cause if not he was going to show her. Don’t be mad at the kids and don’t be mad at the baby boomer tryin to get his groove back.

  • Natty B

    Ps. the elderly caucasian male that sits in the office next to my mom came up to her at work last week and asked her if she knew how to do the “sKanky leg” and the “Cupid Shuffle” cause if not he was going to show her. Don’t be mad at the kids and don’t be mad at the baby boomer tryin to get his groove back.