An Ode to Douchebags

8:27 Procrastination by Julie Hailue — November 8, 2009 at 8:27 pm | 1 comment | | Print

The most recent Dear A Mitch concerning the seemingly disproportionate level of douchebags at CMC ultimately begs the question: just what is a douchebag? Are there different kinds? Am I a douchebag? Tonight’s 8:27 is devoted to understanding the Man Behind the Douche.

1. Tool solidarity–Are d-bags just a misunderstood demographic? They seem to think so. Maybe we need to stop judging and start listening, people. (warning: make sure to listen extra hard, they may be difficult to hear over the Andre Nickatina and slurred chants of “take off your top.”)
We Are Douchebags – watch more funny videos
2. Garfunkel and Oates– What’s that smell? Axe Body Spray and Desperation? According to this comedy group/band, your party has most likely taken a turn for the douche. It may look like a another lame video of two girls rapping on a couch, but listen to the lyrics and you’ll find hilarious one-liners and a fairly accurate summary of  S.D.O.P. (Standard Douchebag Operating Procedure).
3. Brohemian Rhapsody– You have probably seen this classic College Humor remake by now, but if not, then enjoy peons. This is probably more along the lines of the CMC- type douchebag than the previous submissions, as we tend towards Bro’s and Chiefs rather than collar popping Tools and Ed Hardy addicts. Freddie Mercury would be proud. (I admit, that’s a stretch.)