- Carl Peaslee on Summer Stories Series: "The form is fixed now. It is at the bottom of the post...."
- Kelsey Brown on Letters to Freshmen: The High School Sweetheart: "I believe what she meant was that if you are consumed by your relation..."
- missed the point on Letters to Freshmen: The High School Sweetheart: "I think my name says it..."
- in a relationship on Letters to Freshmen: The High School Sweetheart: "why can't someone feel satisfied with their relationship and be happy ..."
- Jillian on Pimp My Campus: "oooh, new walkway! so excited to see it when I get back!!..."
Why beer pong will kill you all
I want to make it clear to everyone how screwed CMC is for when swine flu comes around. Or more importantly, how screwed everyone else is.
There are a couple of reasons that are readily apparent: the close living quarters, the weekly fluid exchange we call TNC, student’s unwillingness to miss class because of sickness, but I’d like to focus on a more dangerous fact: CMC’s apparent Germ-a-phillia. That’s right, not Germ-a-PHOBIA, germaphillia.
And it’s not just that students here love germs, it’s that they are derisive towards those who don’t share their irrational lust for malevolent microorganisms. I, for instance, consider myself one of CMC’s few remaining sane human but for my beliefs I’ve been labeled with the cruel slur germaphobe.
Germaphobe? I don’t fear germs. I don’t walk around with a Camelback full of Purell, refusing to shake people hands. No. It is just that I, unlike the rest of my peers, seem to be one of the few remaining students who has retained a healthy aversion to bacteria.
Take beer pong for instance: I truly enjoy playing CMC’s official sport, yet I’m always disgusted by the local style of play. Dozens of people cycle through the same ten cups, each player leaving behind a few ounces of their own backwash at the bottom of the cups and some new viral strain on the rims. But wait. Don’t worry. Things aren’t that bad. Thank god we have the water cup, that tepid glass of human sludge in which every ball must first be sterilized.
Seriously, who thought the water cup was a good idea? I understand why you might hope to rinse off the dirt and dust from the ball — admirable, but don’t you think it kind of defeats the purpose when you continue to dunk the ball in that same dirt and dust tainted cup over and over again?! Guess what? you’re not doing your opponent any sort of hygienic favor by dipping your shot in a four-inch pool of water, rank with pubic hairs, body oils, and the occasional finger nail.
Disgusting. But guess what?! There is a simple solution. Just fill all the cups with water and drink your beer on the side. This seems entirely reasonable and yet every single time I play this way, even at my own table, with my own cups, in front of my own room, using my own beer, strangers and friends alike angrily complain:
“Why are you such a germaphobe?” “What is the point of this?” “Just man up!”
And most articulately by some random Scrippsie–”Why are you such a pussy?”
Why am I such a pussy? Such a germaphobe? Because, foul friends and random taint-jawed Scripssie, I have seen what you do with your mouths. I have seen you licking the sweaty face of some random Boswell lounge beezy/bro. And I’ve seen you pass around that hookah hose you’ve had for three years and have never washed. And I’ve seen you eat those Mixed Bowl noodles off of the big brown stain on the middle of your carpet.
And I want no part in it.
More posts by Carl »
Carl Peaslee
Carl Peaslee, Editor-in-Chief, is a Senior at CMC where he is majoring in Literature. He likes to sit at his big fancy desk, edit articles, smoke cigars, and yell at his staff to get him more pictures of Spiderman.
Recent
34 Comments
2009-10-21
11:02:36
Completely nauseated by the description of the water cup. (looks like that was what you're trying to go for though. you succeeded.)
2009-10-21
11:47:34
About time, loved the article. You're my hero!
2009-10-21
12:38:10
i have a suggestion. transfer to pomona. you'll like their afternoon tea breaks.
2009-10-21
13:11:30
poi: we have afternoon tea breaks, too.
2009-10-21
13:24:04
You see, that's why we need to phase in vodka rinse cups. It's the only way to protect ourselves.
And people leaving beer behind in their cups?? That's completely unprofessional. Sink your shot in to one of those cups with residual beer to teach them a lesson, son!! (my understanding is that something negative happens if the ball ends up in a cup that still has beer in it. I don't want to go so far as to say it's game over, due to my uncertainty. Hopefully someone with more experience can clarify)
2009-10-21
13:24:39
haha nice! this was hilarious/disgusting. hence why i never play beer pong/ wipe off shot glasses with alcohol wipes
2009-10-21
13:40:38
Carl you're such a pussy.
2009-10-21
14:23:46
Oh b t dubs, wtf is up with that kid who was talking about pomona tea like CMC doesn't have afternoon tea too? Can you say FRESHMANNN
2009-10-21
14:32:17
Sharing germs is half the fun, whats wrong with you? I like the use vodka instead of water cup idea, but why not just use vodka instead of beer as well
2009-10-21
15:09:18
Pomona has tea? Where?
2009-10-21
22:01:44
Water instead of beer? Clean, yes. But it takes away from the rich history of our game. Not all cups are always filled exactly to the same level, there is some strategy in hitting the largest cup, or some disgust in realizing you have to drink the cup with the most beer. Not to mention the lack of accountability when your opponent hides his alcohol intake behind his personal cup-in-hand.
Yes, drinking out of the same solo cups is unhealthy. But so is pounding cheap beer for cheap thrills. And so is handcuffing yourself to a person and finishing a fifth of liquor in about an hour. It's a risk vs. reward and i think for most of us, the rewards win out in this four year drunk we call college.
2009-10-21
22:44:23
I'm a prospective student looking at schools like CMC for after I graduate from high school...
From this website it looks like all people do at CMC is drink, which validates what I saw on the Princeton Review ranking. Is that true? I'd like a school where people party a lot but if it's just drinking games all the time, that's pretty stupid.
2009-10-21
23:24:53
There are a lot of us who rarely, if ever, drink. I recommend Stark Hall, the way man was meant to live.
2009-10-22
00:01:50
Prospie, obviously you obviously haven't read the Princeton Review nor The CMC Forum very well.
The Princeton Review lists:
Academic Groups
Chamber Orchestra
Debating Club
Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Groups
Humor Magazine
Improv comedy
International Student Groups
Literary Magazine
Minority Student Groups
Political Discussion Groups
Radio Station
Religious Groups
Singing Groups
Speakers Forum
Student Union
Theater Program
as student activities here at Claremont McKenna. Yes, there is a lot of drinking, but come on... different people enjoy different things. If someone called staying sober "stupid", I'm sure your response would be to think that that person was throwing around generalized "charged" words without making a cohesive or relevant argument.
Furthermore, you claim that from the looks of this website (cmcforum.com), all we do here at CMC is drink....... have you even looked at any other articles besides this one? There are plenty of other articles with topics ranging from our student debates at the athenaeum to the eating disorders of our lovely neighbors to the north, the Scrippsies, to anything else us CMCers find interesting. Surely if you spent more than 10 minutes on this website, you'd figure out that we do much much more than just party.
I'm not denying the fact that we love to party and play drinking games here. It's a large part of CMC culture, but as Princeton Review says, we do have a substance free dorm and single rooms, as well as a residency exchange program with schools of the other 5C's, on top of all those activities listed earlier, plus a healthy intramural and varsity athletics program among other things.
So please Prospie, I beg you to reconsider sending an application to Claremont McKenna College. You seem to like throwing around unfounded statements that might offend a majority of the CMC community and lord knows we don't need another Charles Johnson on our hands so gtfo plz.
2009-10-22
01:29:26
Sigh. Unfounded statements? Prove the charge, if you can. You'll learn, prospie, what others are starting to learn. If you have an opinion that some people dislike, they'll malign your character, make stuff up about you, and generally harass you. C'est la vie.
As for the prospie, live it up in Stark where people aren't meat heads and do what they came to school for -- you know, study.
This is an issue near and dear to my heart now that I can finally legally imbibe. Yeah freedom!
2009-10-22
02:08:04
"... Sprague cites two examples of how Krauthammer is wrong, ignoring Krauthammer's arguments about Iraq and Afghanistan. ...... so I must conclude that he accepts Krauthammer's conclusions about them. This is, in debater parlance, a dropped argument."
I believe that qualifies as an unfounded statement. Dropped arguments never mean that you agree with your opponent, in any form of debate.
2009-10-22
21:55:23
"As for the prospie, live it up in Stark where people aren't meat heads and do what they came to school for -- you know, study. "
I'm pretty sure I partied a whole lot (i.e., every weekend) and studied a whole lot and did quite well at CMC. Blogging takes away from precious party (and study) time ;)
2009-10-22
01:16:18
This comment is misdirected and misinformed in so many ways that a rebuttal is not even merited...If you really think drinking is all that CMCers do, than your research has been extremely limited, even within the scope of this site and the princeton review's site. Read other articles on the forum's site and peruse other of the college's excellent rankings. If the drinking bit is still too intimidating for you, this isn't the college for you.
2009-10-22
08:32:05
I don't drink, little prospee, and I know plenty of people who don't. There's a dorm for non-drinkers - Stark! Though some people in Stark do drink, just not in Stark...lol.
2009-10-22
18:42:13
Well, for all the talk, a great deal of CMC's culture is based around partying, hooking up, etc. So if you're looking for a place to build life-long friendships, or develop a long term relationship as a possibility in college...it probably isn't the place for you. As a junior, I've realized this. Alot of the socializing/friendships around this college are pretty backhanded/shallow.
2009-10-22
18:49:33
I completely disagree with this. If you only want to have shallow backhanded friends, or engage in a casual hookup culture, go to TNC every week and spend your weekends drinking and attending the party of the week. If you want to have deeper friendships and relationships, take advantage of all CMC has to offer (clubs, speakers, heavily subsidized events, trips, etc.). If you only hang out in the shallow crowd, you'll only make shallow friends. But there are so many interesting people here to meet that you won't have a problem if you keep an optimistic attitude.
2009-10-22
10:24:27
I am going to venture that the prospective student may not a prospective student at all. There is a decent chance that it is someone trying show how the drinking culture at CMC might drive some students away.
In a sense, I agree the "prospective student;" however, I am not sure that it is bad thing. I wouldn't have gone to BYU with its restrictive drinking policies, and I don't think it is looking to change its policies to accommodate me anytime soon. The same can be said for CMC. The culture may drive some students away, but I can live with that.
2009-10-22
13:32:36
@Andrew Bluebond,
Actually, let's be honest here. CMC does violate the law by allowing or at least turning a blind eye to, the underaged drinking that goes on on campus. But there are many, many colleges that do. Still, I'd like to see the college spend more of its money on dry events.
2009-10-22
15:53:12
Then go to BYU, charles. There's no law that says CMC has to have a certain strictness level on how hard it seeks to find students who are committing illegal activities. The school's policy is that if they see students drinking beer out of the can or bottle outside they will be punished by campus security. They have just decided to allocate their time to things other than busting underage kids. I know you're a smart kid and probably have looked into the amethyst initiative. It's hard to argue with those facts they present.
2009-10-23
15:54:46
Having just had a bit of fun last night on my 21st birthday, I admit that I'm not exactly in the best position here and I'll stop from going to BYU anytime soon -- though my Mormon relatives and friends seem to like it and alcohol is expensive, so hmm...
Anyways, the reason I dislike the policy isn't to become some kind of fascist state. We stand to lose 4 million in federal funding for not really doing anything about our alcohol policy. I'd kind of like to have that money at CMC.
I looked into Amethyst and wrote about it extensively. http://www.google.com/cse?cx=009219105286245674463%3A1n0exgge3xg&ie=UTF-8&q=amethyst&sa=Search
http://media.www.claremontindependent.com/media/storage/paper1031/news/2008/09/02/Campus/Mixed.Messages.And.Mixed.Drinks-3400378.shtml
2009-10-22
15:45:16
yes, i was just making a point. but i'm surprised real prospies don't comment here more often (or at all).
2009-10-22
17:10:35
what kind of fucked up person comments as a prospie on forum articles....like wtf, why wouldn't you just comment as a student of cmc or merely an observer? wtf serious mental problems.
2009-10-22
15:55:36
Germs build stronger immune systems. Do your body a favor and not only play beer pong, but take a bite of some dirt while you're at it. Don't wash your ball off at all. In fact, find a nice patch of ground and rub a little mother earth on it and then shoot.
2009-10-23
12:51:55
I tend to agree with Andrew up there. Why lie to prospies: "Oh, drinking isn't bad here.... there's lots of other things to do"? Drinking is largely our CMC culture (blessed be). We're proud of it. We love doing it. If you don't drink much, you had better come to CMC with lots of innovative ideas for alternative fun and make a very good group of friends who would choose hanging out with you over getting wasted. It's great if the Forum is able to give prospies such an accurate idea of CMC culture (booze-ridden, indie-loving, business-driven, smart alecky fun). It's worth losing a few prospies if those are the students who wouldn't really love CMC anyway.
Carl, your articles are basically the reason I read the Forum. So funny. So great!
2009-10-23
15:06:27
"I have seen you licking the sweaty face of some random Boswell lounge beezy/bro"
hahahahahaha... true.
2009-10-23
16:27:05
What CMC students are best at is having fun AND getting shit done. If you don't like getting wasted you can still love it here and if you don't drink at all it might be awkward sometimes but still OK. If you can't balance work and play though, this isn't the place for you.
2009-10-27
00:41:14
[...] reading Carl Peaslee’s editorial on the dangers of playing CMC’s official sport, Beirut (or Beer Pong to those ignorant enough to [...]
2009-10-30
13:29:15
What about just using a side cup? They sink the shot, you pour the beer into your own cup and drink. It doesn't do anything about the dirty balls, but at least swine flu won't be spread.
2009-11-02
09:18:24
I don't understand how I never thought about this before...
But I can't say I will stop playing in the traditional CMC Beirut style...