Who’s ready for the new season to start? What’s that? You’re still throwing books against the wall after finishing Orange is the New Black? Or maybe sitting in a corner quietly sobbing after the end of Dexter and the impending end of Breaking Bad. Wherever you are and however you’re dealing with your TV feels, never fear! We have an entire season full of new shows for you to get way too emotionally invested in.
Here’s a breakdown, by network, of some freshmen and some returning shows that I’m already obsessed with and that are definitely worth procrastinating with:
Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Tuesday’s 9PM
There’s really not that much to say about S.H.I.E.L.D. other than: Joss Whedon, the Avengers and Coulson lives. ABC ordered this show straight to series after the insane success of The Avengers, and hired Joss Whedon (Firefly, Dollhouse, Buffy) and the Whedon family to pen the script and now there is no way that this cannot be great. The show follows the human S.H.I.E.L.D. agents trying to fight supernatural problems, lead by Agent Coulson back from the dead! Its about superheroes, and I know that you know that you don’t have nearly enough superheroes in your life right now.
Scandal Thursdays 10PM starting October 3
Guys, guys, guys. How are you NOT watching Scandal? Its a show penned by Shonda Rhimes (a.k.a. ruiner of lives a.k.a. creator of Grey’s Anatomy) that follows the life and career of a Washington, D.C. “fixer” , Olivia Pope, as well as her overly complicated and perfectly dramatic personal life. The show is not only incredibly addictive but also presents engaging conversations on controversial topics such as corruption in D.C., adultery, gay marriage and adoption rights, and the influence private companies have over political matters. This summer, State Department intern Hillary Lundberg finished the first season in one day and “joined Hulu plus just to watch season 2 because it wasn’t on Netflix yet”.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine Tuesdays 8:30PM
Andy Samberg is back on the small screen as a hilarious dysfunctional cop in a hilariously dysfunctional precinct in Brooklyn. Samberg leads an ensemble of new and familiar faces in a workplace/crime comedy that is sure to be the answer to your Law and Order: SVU depression.
How I Met Your Mother Mondays 8PM
This one’s self explanatory: eight years later, we’re finally meeting the mother. Grab some “sumbitches,” this will be a good last ride, kids.
The Michael J. Fox Show Thursdays 9PM starting September 26
The incomparable Michael J. Fox makes his return to primetime television! This is really exciting, guys (although to be honest, I have been waiting for the MJF cameo on Teen Wolf for 3 years). The pilot episode of the MJFS is hands down the strongest pilot of this season. Filmed as a classic family sitcom, the show is anything but classic. In the first minute of the pilot, the show already confronts Fox’s Parkinson’s disease and treats it in a shameless and perfectly humorous manner. The Michael J. Fox show uses comedy’s unique ability to portray honest truths to create an engaging discussion about Parkinson’s while also portraying a hilarious family situation.
Parks and Recreation Thursdays 8PM starting September 26
Wait, you go to CMC, you’re majoring in Gov and you’re telling me you don’t watch Parks and Recreation? Can someone tell Elizabeth Morgan to fail you? Parks and Recreation has been on air for four seasons, and last season it certainly hit its stride. While the show suffers from disappointingly low ratings, that doesn’t prevent its creative team from consistently putting out hilarious and relevant episodes of politically driven comedy. I mean what other show on television has Amy Poehler attempting to kiss John McCain? Its also a great way to keep up on political current events through the microcosm of dysfunction that is Pawnee, Indiana.
Masters of Sex Sundays 9PM starting September 29
Starring Michael Sheen and Lizzy Caplan (of Mean Girls and Party Down), Masters of Sex is a brilliant new show that follows the lives and research of Dr. William Masters and Virginia Johnson, the pioneers of human sexuality research. Though the content matter of the show itself is worth watching, Masters of Sex does an incredibly thorough job portraying not only the lives of Dr. Masters and Virginia but also the intricacies of their research. Moreover, Lizzy Caplan is a force to be reckoned with, balancing the perfectly fine line of subservient 1960s wife and mother and strong, sassy and inquisitive woman. Masters of Sex promises to be an incredibly engaging show that challenges conventional as well as contemporary ideas of human sexuality and societal gender roles.
Reign Thursdays 9PM starting October 17
Following the CW recipe for success, Reign is a historically inaccurate retelling of 15-year-old Mary Queen of Scots and her escapades in the French court. Read as: Gossip Girl in history. It’s everything you’ve been looking for, and more, trust me, just look at this art direction from the Pilot: “Int. Castle-Night a young Queen Mary enters the ballroom with her handmaidens wearing a cross between Vivienne Westwood runway and Free People.” Fashionable history, people, this will be a winner.
The Walking Dead Sundays 9PM starting October 13
If you thought last season was insane, just wait. Time jump, killer kid, lots of guns, and even more zombies. TWD is coming back with a vengeance. For those you who haven’t seen The Walking Dead, it’s must-see TV. The show is based off of a successful graphic novel series of the same name and follows the survival of humans in a zombified world. The show perfectly marries the shock, awe and “cool” factor of zombies with the very human story of family survival in a harsh world. Or as renowned television expert Kerry Moller describes TWD, “ZOMBIES!,” and isn’t that really all you need to know?
Pro-tip: as great as TWD is, don’t eat while watching. Your stomach will thank you.
It’s going to be a great season. But it’s time to watch some S.H.I.E.L.D. and prepare myself emotionally for Shonda to ruin my life when Grey’s Anatomy returns on Thursday.