There’s this really hot guy that I have been wanting to hook up with since we got back at school. The problem is that he’s gotten with basically all of my friends. None of them had anything serious with him and they totally don’t care. Is he still fair game or should I stay away?
Dear Eskimo Girl,
At a school the size of CMC, it is often likely that someone you’re into already knows a friend of yours. I mean ‘know’ in the biblical sense. Or at least in the DFMO sense. Like the “Oh I know him… we met at Foam,” type of way. But there is a difference between the guy who made out with your sophomore year suite mate once, and the guy who has become acquainted with the Twin XL sheets of your seven closest friends. While I don’t know exactly where this dreamboat lands on that spectrum, if you’re skeptical enough to ask for advice, he’s probably done some serious work making his way around the block/quad/tower/apartment buildings.
You should ask yourself what you want to come out of the relationship. If it’s just been a particularly DRY week and your only goal is to toot it and boot it, then there’s probably no harm done. You can capitalize on the initial infatuation just long enough to scratch that itch and move on. Plus you’ll be guaranteed an entertaining brunch with the babes that weekend. The debate on whether girls or guys divulge about their sex lives more frequently remains unsettled. What I do know is that when there is cross-pollination, all bets are off and the details come out. “Did he do that weird thing with the pillow?” “Like WHY doesn’t he just take off his socks?” “OMG he told me the same thing about how beautiful my ears are!!!”
If you are capable of approaching the hook up with a detached, purely physical attitude, then I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Overlap makes the heart grow fonder, according to a wise man from a very, very small village.
That being said, be honest about how you feel about the guy and your expectations. If you’re hoping that this could turn into something more than a hook up, make sure you’re prepared to face the facts about his past and how you’ll feel when you’re with him – both alone and with your friends. It’s not impossible for a serial polygamist to settle down. But if you are even remotely the jealous type, hanging out with your guy and a bunch of your girl friends that he knows could make everyone uncomfortable, especially you. Before you let your *emotions* develop, have a hard look at what you’re getting yourself into, and how okay you really are with his track record.
However you decide, proceed with caution. Emotional, but also literal caution. Wear a helmet before you hop on the town bike that everyone’s had a ride on. Well, I guess he’d be wearing the helmet. But then he’d be a bike that is wearing a helmet. Whatever, you get the metaphor. Bless his freedom to bone whomever he pleases, but beware of the perils of his promiscuity. And by perils, I mean herpes. Remember there’s STD testing at the health center… you and your friends could make a day of it.
Best of Luck,
If you have questions for Merriel to answer feel free to comment them below or submit them here.