Coffee Break: Starbucks Secret Menu

Life by Madison Shimoda — June 15, 2009 at 8:00 am | 8 comments | | Print

Tired of the same old Double Tall Non-fat Extra hot caramel macchiato? Try some of these off-menu drinks from Starbucks and impress your morning coffee date.

Short anything. The advertised sizes are “Tall,” “Grande” and “Venti.” But anything can be ordered in a less expensive and smaller “Short” size as well. They have official-but-secret prices for all short drinks and everything. They’ve always had it in Japan.

Short cappuccino. A “Short” cappuccino is closer to the traditional cappuccino drink as it existed before Starbucks invented the practice of adding massive quantities of milk.

Red Eye. Drip coffee with a shot of espresso.

Black Eye. Drip coffee with two shots of espresso.

Ghetto Latte. Don’t say “Ghetto Latte” when you order. Just order an Iced Americano, with no water and half ice, then go to the condiments bar and add a lot of half-and-half. This exact same drink is sold by Starbucks as a Breve Latte, which costs much more.

Ghetto Chai Latte. Don’t say “Ghetto Chai Latte.” Order a Chai Tea Misto with two tea bags, half cinnamon and half vanilla syrup and extra foam. Cheaper than a real Chai Latte.

Cafe au Lait. (Order the Misto without foam for an old French favorite.

French pressed coffee. You can choose any coffee they sell by the bag served in a French press!

Chocolate Cream Frappucino. For those who love chocolate.

Madison Shimoda

Born in Johor Baru, Malaysia, and raised in Tokyo, Japan, Madison Shimoda is an award-winning writer, performer, and shopper. She now temporarily lives in the United States and working on a Bachelor's degree in Literature and Philosophy & Public Affairs at Claremont McKenna College. During her spare time, Madison likes reading poetry, shopping, and listening to jazz. She is currently working on the next great American novel.

8 Comments

OMG!
2009-06-15
09:51:45
Madison, you just halved my summer expenses. Thanks so much.
person-in-a-bowl
2009-06-15
10:21:47
This is the only thing I will say.

The Ghetto Latte is not classy. Just sayin'. The condiment bar is a condiment bar for a reason. It is not an invitation for you to use all the half-and-half. It is aggravating to your fellow customers, and if you can't afford the drink you want, maybe you shouldn't be ordering it.

You know, you could save even more money by brewing your own coffee at home.
My Grandma's secret recipt
2009-06-15
13:57:03
As an aside, my grandma used to get lemonade by ordering a free tap water, using a ton of lemons from the condiment bar, and adding sugar/sweet n low/splenda. It won't work at starbucks but its a cheap way to get a drink at chipotle. Its also works at mudd and is much better than the lemonade they have on tap.
- easier way
  2009-06-18
  07:45:19
  better way to get free lemonade at chipotle: lie
  
  ask for a cup of water. don't get water. get lemonade.
  
  works every time.
Former Roommate of Madison
2009-06-16
13:58:10
hahahaha. fantastic. miss you, flower!
Kate
2009-06-16
23:23:42
Person-in-a-bowl, I agree with you. And the ghetto lemonade is more than cheap. It's tacky. Are you a Starbucks barista, Madison? 'Cuz that's a pretty comprehensive off menu list.
Former Starbucks Employee
2009-06-20
08:34:31
I use to work at starbucks as a summer job and these tips are a good start but I always recommend ordering something "upside down", esp. the caramel macchiato (hot or cold; it changes the ratio a bit and is great for caramel lovers). Also, try the passion tea lemonaid blended and sweetened with raspberry (ask for no ice, the mixings are already cold so you really don't need cubes).
scam finder
2009-08-21
14:37:54
Or, quit being a moronic douche and order an 89 cent cup of coffee at any fast food joint. Better still, pay the nickel and make it at home.