- Carl Peaslee on Summer Stories Series: "The form is fixed now. It is at the bottom of the post...."
- Kelsey Brown on Letters to Freshmen: The High School Sweetheart: "I believe what she meant was that if you are consumed by your relation..."
- missed the point on Letters to Freshmen: The High School Sweetheart: "I think my name says it..."
- in a relationship on Letters to Freshmen: The High School Sweetheart: "why can't someone feel satisfied with their relationship and be happy ..."
- Jillian on Pimp My Campus: "oooh, new walkway! so excited to see it when I get back!!..."
Patty cake, patty cake, microwave
I love rap. I love reading about rap on the internet. Yesterday I found snacksandshit.com. If you’re too lazy to click that link, it’s a blog that posts and analyzes the worst lines in rap. It inspired me, so I put together a few favorites I heard come on today. Feel free to post your own in the comments (or to call me a liberal-fascist mass murderer, whichever). Anyway, here goes:
Officer Ricky
“Other rappers are damn jokers. They be givin’ the people comedy. But the Tech N9na misery shit is Bram Stoker.” —Tech N9ne, Midwest Choppers 2
If the only thing you can rhyme with “joker” is “Stoker” maybe you should pick a different word to begin with. Filed under: Bizarre and unnecessary literary reference.
“I’m dustin’ niggaz off cuz I’m hot like sauce.” —Method Man, Protect Ya Neck
First of all I just don’t see the connection. Unless he’s in a gay club I can’t really imagine Meth’s hotness having any correlation with a need to “brush off niggaz.” Secondly, “hot like sauce.” Really? Could a simile get any worse? Filed under: Kinda gay, Too basic, Try harder
“Get into his ass cause I ain’t opposed. I’m a living anal probe”—Royce Da 5’9”, Slaughterhouse
This isn’t threatening. It’s just gay. Really, really, really gay. Filed under: Kinda Really gay
“Patty cake, patty cake, microwave. Suckers make a square. Goddamn I’m paid.” —Young Jeezy, And Then What
What? Filed under: What?
“Curly?! They call you woodface.” —Rick Ross
Sure he just busted this out in an interview but whatever. If anyone has any idea why Officer Ricky decided to nickname 50 “woodface” please tell me. Filed under: Dumbest nickname ever
“I’m using rubbers so they won’t trace the semen. The black demon, got the little hookers screamin’.” —Notorious B.I.G., Dead Wrong
Any rapper can claim to be a drug dealer. Only Biggie claims to be a serial rapist. Filed under: Just plain scary, Terrible to women
“Man I ate eight clips with eight chicks. Watching eight flicks.” —Ludacris, 1st & 10
Ludacris is the ultimate multitasker. I dunno what he is trying to say he’s doing to be honest but he sure is doing a lot of it. Filed under: Doing too many things at once
“Thirty-eight revolve like the sun round the Earth.” —Jay-Z, It’s Hot
Jay-Z taking us back to the 15th century. Filed under: Did not graduate from kindergarten
More posts by Wyatt »
Wyatt MacKenzie
Wyatt MacKenzie, like Venus, was formed spontaneously from sea foam and emerged carrying an IBM Selectric. He is physically incapable of producing anything but the most perfect reporting imaginable and has won seven Pulitzers for his work investigating CMC cafeterias. He hopes one day to report a story so hard that it stops ethnic conflict in the third world.
Recent
8 Comments
2009-05-13
12:37:36
You need to fix the link
2009-05-13
12:45:46
You didn't "find" anything. Give some credit.
2009-05-13
13:09:31
Haha, Max found and shared. There you go!
2009-05-13
18:19:16
you are an idiot whos taking the lyrics out of context.....royce aint talkin gay.....he sayin he beat your ass.....and the tech n9ne lick um apparently you dont know who Bram Stoker is....it fits perfect in the line. If you knew who he was then you would thing that line is ill and well thought up, but on the other hand You know absolutely nothing about rap music!! so please dont critic it...
2009-05-13
20:14:33
Pardon me, but may I "critic" you?
"royce aint talkin gay…..he sayin he beat your ass" Yeah. With his penis.
"and the tech n9ne lick um apparently you dont know who Bram Stoker is….it fits perfect in the line." While it's a better rhyme than "Al Roker," it really doesn't make much sense. Rappers hating on each other =/= sexually repressed nosferatu.
Let me know if I didn't "thing" this through properly.
2009-05-13
18:30:46
"I'm a living anal probe"
"I'm a living anal probe"
"I'm a living anal probe"
"I'm a living anal probe"
Yeah man that's straight as hell.
PS- You're illiterate.
2009-05-17
16:11:36
this has always been my favorite nonsensical line
I can't believe we built this large pizza pie together, no pepperoni, yeah you wanted extra cheese, sometimes I gave you extras -- de la soul, all good
2009-06-07
05:55:42
hahahaha.. this is great.. royce is one of my favorite rappers of all time. i knew what he meant when he said it but he should have paused after that line for sure. i have a ton of lines that are suspect from tons of songs but let me use this one as an example...
"well lemme tell you somethin, you might got mo' cash then me...
but you ain't got the skills to eat a nig*a's ass like me"
canibus from 2nd round ko