1. The fact that I found this next clip highly entertaining probably says a lot about my nerd status. It’s a compilation of unintentional double entendre Star Trek clips (made by ST creator Gene Roddenberry) that humorously and creatively follows a typical courtship from start to finish (unfortunately, he doesn’t call her back in the end):

2. Haven’t you ever wanted an awesome life coach that will tell you how life really is? Enter the following clip: Life Lessons by Mister T.

Notable Quotables:

• So please don’t brag. Only fools brag. Bragging just shows you can shoot off your big mouth.  If you’re great, people will know it. You don’t have to tell them anything, just like I don’t have to tell you. UNDERSTAND?
• I pity the fool who makes fun of people who wear glasses, because there’s nothing wrong with wearing glasses………if you need them.

3. This next one is…interesting. Philip Toledano wrote a book about Phonesex operators and published on his website a number of photos and brief “interviews” with eight of them. While their statements are surprisingly interesting, you probably don’t want to be looking at them in class. Some are oddly “philosophical”:

• They want me to talk to them, and to take them to another world. I’m good at it. I’m a pro. A ladies man.
• I’m Scheherezade: If I don’t tell stories that fascinate the Pasha, he will kill me in the morning.

Finally, you’ve probably seen these, but in case you haven’t:

Hayek v Keynes Rap: Professor Keil even showed this at his recent Ath talk.

ShadyURL: make your completely innocent link look like this: http://5z8.info/blackmarket_u3i7u_peepshow

Animals

• Pets Who Want to Kill Themselves. Rather than the absolutely adorable Zooborns and Cute Overload (Obligatory: PANDA!  PANDA! PANDA!!) PWWTKT highlights some of those instances when people take their adoration for their animals too far. Example Submission:  To be honest, aren’t cats always miserable in the company of humans?

(Un?)Intentionally Funny

• Passive Aggressive Notes. I really appreciate this site–after all, one of my roommates will (lovingly) post reminders in our apartment asking that we close cabinets, wipe counters, etc. Rather than the similar PostSecret, which often leaves you in a reflective state of mind, Passive Aggressive Notes will make you seriously question the sanity of others. Example Submission: A “creeper” and the “creeped upon” exchange entertaining notes.

• Bad Menu. Highlighting poor translations, typos, and failed marketing strategies for restaurants, Bad Menu examines instances when a second pair of eyes may have been helpful before printing off 15000 of those fliers. Example Submission: You know you’re famous when you’re used in ads after your death –Martin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi.

• WTFComcast. Writing descriptions for TV programs is clearly an awesome job. This blog highlights many of the humorous and odd TV listing summaries that can be found on Comcast. Example Submission:  See, it’s somewhat amusing, no?

Satirical

• F’ing Book Deal. After a while, all these single-topic blogs can get kind of annoying, especially those that are constantly churning out books. FBD satirizes these sites by “suggesting” site ideas. Example Submission: Dinosaurs Dealing with Mortality (the source of the front page picture) and Passive-Aggressive Ransom Notes.

• Zombo.com. If you haven’t heard of it, you don’t know what you are missing. You can do anything at Zombo.com. Be sure to have your volume on and remember: patience is a virtue.

A couple of other random ones: Autocompleteme (Odd Google Search Results),  Look at this Frakking Geekster, and Banknotes365 (compilation of bank robbery demand notes).

As always, feel free to post other blogs in the comments section.

“I’m about to teach your ass how to cook.” With those words, Coolio, of Gangster’s Paradise fame, began the first episode cooking show. Yes, he has a cooking show–you can find every episode on his YouTube channel, Cookin with Coolio. Coolio hasn’t had the best luck lately, what with his arrest for possession of crack cocaine or with his recent crowd surfing attempt (where, rather than catching him, audience members let him hit the floor and then stole his jewelry and shoes). On first glance, however, his luck seems to be changing with this new, critically acclaimed show.

Cookin with Coolio features videos that will guide you on your quest to make “Soul Rolls,” “Swashbuckling Shrimp,” and the like. Unlike traditional cooking personalities, however,  Coolio uses less than official cooking terms, such as “a dime bag of pepper” and a “pooch of salt,” as well as random interjections of “Shakazulu!” and “Taste Good, Look Good…IS GOOD.” He is joined in every episode by his cooking “girls.” He also swears quite a bit, so you may want to keep down the volume if grandma is around.

In this episode he kidnaps a college student and shows him how to make “Fork Steak.” Yum.

Check out Coolio’s “Flavor Gun” that he gets in the episode in which he makes “Fall off the Bone Chicken”:

Oh yeah, you can buy his cookbook, “Cookin With Coolio, 5 Star Meals at a 1 Star Price,” which is probably one of the funniest cookbooks I’ve ever read.

Shakazulu!

• Remember OK Go’s Here it Goes Again music video? A few weeks ago OK Go released a new video, which, while not as technically impressive as their synchronized treadmilling, is still a fun video, done in a single take. Since embedding for their video, “This Too Shall Pass” is disabled, you’ll have to go directly to the source, on YouTube.

• Have you ever seen “This Film Has Not Yet Been Rated?” In case you haven’t, you really should, especially if you give movie ratings any value at all. For those of you that have seen it, you will likely remember the plethora black, censor boxes for the ample nudity that occurs throughout that excellent documentary. Well, I bet you never thought that those black, censor boxes could in fact form a type of art of their own, did you? Check out  “Toe Jam,” by the Brighton Port Authority (aka Fatboy Slim). It starts like a 1970’s porn flick, but without any nudity:

• Beck’s collaboration with Charlotte Gainsbourg in “Heaven Can Wait” is mind blowing. This music video is so…awesome. Seriously. Every single scene is completely random, surreal, and will inspire hallucinations. Multiple viewings is highly encouraged.

• LA-based video editor Matt Kresling created an inventive stop-motion type video called “The Beast that Swallows its Young“, which critiques the idiocy of the high college costs, and the resulting student debt. Check out his new video, aptly named “Seventeen,” which he made through a creative use of his high school yearbook and video editing software:

• The following video for Cinnamon Chasers’ “Luv Deluxe,” which was shot all along the West Coast, lets you see three potential life paths for the same person from a specific point in time. The moral? Fundamentally, you can’t control the ultimate consequences of a relationship, but you can always control your own actions. Stay true to yourself, and sometimes you’ll be able to influence others for good:

(Also, in case you watch Parks & Recreations, the actress is NOT the same actress that plays April, the intern)

• The reviews for the Three Wolf Moon shirt, referenced in a previous Forum article, has propelled the Three Wolf Shirt to its current #8 ranking on Amazon’s clothing category. Popular reviews often emphasize the shirt’s ability to attract “slightly sweaty (female) dreams in sweatpants and flip-flops” and to both solve crimes and spontaneous impregnate dozens of women. It was even featured by Dwight on The Office:Related attempt to spread the meme: Breakthrough Wolf T-Shirt. One reviewer states that the wolf on the shirt is so realistic that it got him shot by an AC/DC fan. Also, check out the Three Keyboard Cat Moon shirt. Play him off, Keyboard Cat.
• Tuscan Whole Milk was one of the original “meme” Amazon reviews. Differing from the Three Wolf Shirt, the top reviews for Tuscan Milk (which, by the way, is available for only $69.99 a gallon) either portray Tuscan Whole Milk as the barometer for a relationship’s or review it in the form of a poem, based on Edgar Allen Poe’s The Raven.
• The JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank is beautiful thing to behold, only costs $20,654.44 and it is apparently one of the best tanks on the market. However, don’t take the”Donk” on a drunk rampage, as one reviewer did, and beware that homeowner associations may send you a hefty fine for ruining your gated community with this behemoth.

A few other classic products & reviews: Zubaz Pants, Wolf Urine Lure and Uranium Ore.

The aforementioned Amazon review memes have been around for a while, but you should stay tuned for tomorrow/next week/whenever I get around to it (this is 8:27 Procrastination, after all) when I’ll cover a couple other “cool” Amazon products.

Admittedly, the first time that I played Sketch Swap I did one of my usual doodles–a stick man, with a lizard-looking dog, with a bunch of stars above them–in a bit under 3 minutes. Needless to say, it was a bad doodle, and I thankfully didn’t save it. However, upon seeing the quality of the other drawings that users submit, my subsequent sketches were significantly better (but still relatively poor). For the rest of you, however, Sketch Swap is a great way to unleash your creative powers, without needing to resort to doodles in the margins of your final paper.

Suggestion: A mouse is better than a track pad; a tablet is best.

1. Five years in the making, first-time director Lucas Martell’s Pigeon: Impossible is a short 6-minute, humorous animated short. Amazingly, Martell has never worked with animation before–you can check out his behind the scenes, making-of series also. Here is the first episode. Basic plot? A pigeon’s desire for a bagel nearly ends the world…(p.s. double click for the HD version. Highly recommended)
2. The Piano shows the ability of music to impart deeper meaning to our lives. If nothing else, watch this movie, just to hear the song played throughout–Comptine d’un autre été: l’après midi. If you’ve seen Amélie, you’ll instantly recognize the song:
3. Kiwi! is a classic YouTube video, receiving nearly 25,000,000 views. Kiwi birds are naturally flightless, but that inability does not prevent this Kiwi from dreaming. This is a bit more of a touching story, as I think everyone can relate to wanting, however briefly, to live each of our individual dreams:
4. Of course, any discussion of Animated Shorts needs to include some of those shorts that are always at the beginning of Pixar movies. Chess aficionados will definitely appreciate Geri’s Game, and everyone who had an awkward stage will laugh at For the Birds. Sure, those are pretty good, but after dealing with pushy street performers in Europe, and after seeing this video of a truly awesome one man band, One Man Band is my favorite:
   
   

QD3 — Hip Hop producer and son of music legend Quincy Jones — has created a surprisingly compelling documentary offering audiences a rare peek into the unusual psychology of Lil Wayne. When I first heard about “The Carter,” I expected a self-gratifying Wayne tribute involving some combination of hoes, clothes, and automobiles. Imagine my surprise when the film was screened at Sundance and met with rave reviews. Contrary to my preconceptions, The Carter is not a trashy E! Hollywood story or an extended version of an ass  + titties + Hennessy music video, but rather a intimate portrait of one of the hardest working artists in hip hop. They shot direct footage of Wayne’s touring life over a 6-month period, both before and after the drop of The Carter III. Everything is laid bare, from his non-stop blunt smoking and addiction to Codeine cough syrup and Soda (sizzurp), to the story of how he was raped at 11 (and loved it). You see rare creative moments like his “Swagga Like Us” verse in its infancy, created like all of his music — with no pen and no pad, just his Mac and a stand alone mic. Lil Wayne later pulled his support from the movie and tried to remove the scenes showing him drinking syrup (impossible, cause he is “double cupped” pretty much the whole movie). In my opinion, he should be thanking the makers of this film, for capturing a genuinely interesting side of him that we don’t get to see. His commitment to recording every waking second and his ability to retain thousand of verses by memory only ( so there is “no evidence,” he says) has elevated him, at least in my mind, to a level possibly deserving of his most presumptuous of nicknames — Best Rapper Alive.

In this remarkably simple game you must figure out a way to move your avatar (an elephant) to the exit on the bottom right. While there is only one “level,” there are multiple stages, and each stage is different. You may think that you have figured it out immediately, but you will need to be careful though–obstacles abound, and the rules constantly change. In many ways This is the Only Level is a strategy-puzzle game. In order to figure out how to beat each stage, read and ponder the stage title in the bottom left corner.

So enjoy this flash game, seniors (and non-seniors) during this break and beyond. And remember–the best part about this game is that you can tell yourself “I’ll just play one level.” Self-denial FTW…

*In case you can’t figure out a stage, there is a walkthrough. On the other hand, if you’re going to cheat at a  game, why not just do work.

What about in the wild? Those fans of the Redwall series–hopefully 100% of you–know that animals routinely have huge battles (and that ferrets, weasels, and stoats are evil). Those battles also happen in the real world. Hopefully you’ve seen the following epic, 8-minute long video that was captured on an amateur video camera (and no, it’s not porn). It’s a small skirmish between African Cape Buffalo, a Crocodile, and a Lion pride at Kruger National Park in South Africa. It takes a bit to get into it, but the wait is well worth it:

What’s the one thing that Battle at Kruger is missing? A good, British narrator like David Attenborough (who is such a better narrator than Sigourney Weaver on Planet Earth, by the way). Ever wonder what a narrator’s  internal monologue sounds like? Wonder no more–thanks to the the following video:

That’s all for today. Oh, wait, what’s that??

**PANDA Bonus!!**

“Gangsta Panda”

“In delay there lies no plenty.”

William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night